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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461468">rome wasn't built in a day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hujwernoo/pseuds/hujwernoo'>hujwernoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>but we still care about each other, we were living for each other [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:53:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hujwernoo/pseuds/hujwernoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now settled safely at Odessa's, Allison finds time to notice a certain SJCC organizer. But can the course of love really ever run smooth for a Hargreeves, especially when there's <em>three</em> of them invested in the outcome?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Allison Hargreeves &amp; Ben Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, Raymond Chestnut/Allison Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>but we still care about each other, we were living for each other [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>930</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Semi-Functional Adults</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello again, everybody! Welcome back to the continuing saga of my much better take on season 2!</p><p>Alright. As usual, I will be posting on a M/W/F schedule, and the entire story is complete already. BUT. I also have an announcement. You see, I have been persuaded that I need to take a break from the TUA fandom. I've written about 600,000 words for these dumbasses over the past year or so, and I am just about <em>burned out.</em> I found myself getting annoyed with this whole story as I came to the close of it, and I don't want to feel that way about our favorite disaster children!</p><p>So I'm going off TUA for a couple months. I'll return, never fear, but I need a damn break. After I finish posting this story, don't expect anything for a while.</p><p>I wish you all the best, and I hope you enjoy this installment!</p><p>Trigger warnings: mention of period-typical racism and homophobia.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“But <em>is</em> it our birthday, though,” Klaus says.</p><p>Allison gives him a look that clearly conveys <em>‘you think I know?’</em></p><p>“It would be easier if we said it was,” Ben throws in his two cents.</p><p>“No one asked you, Ben,” Klaus dismisses. “You’re dead, you don’t have a birthday anymore.”</p><p>“Pretty sure that’s not how it works,” Ben says as Allison smacks Klaus’ arm. There’s no call to be rude.</p><p>“Hey,” Klaus whines, curling in on himself and throwing her a wounded look. “What’s with all the ganging up on me lately? First it was the coffee, and now this -”</p><p>It would take too long for Allison to write out <em>the coffee thing was your fault and you know it,</em> so thankfully Ben says it for her. Klaus looks sulkily mutinous, but he doesn’t actually disagree.</p><p>Allison sighs and leans back against the wall of their room. Or, well, Odessa’s room. It’s a decent storage area, but with all three of them crammed in here Allison has a new appreciation for the trials of sardines.</p><p>Klaus and Ben fall into bickering, as they so often do. Allison takes the opportunity to work things out on her pad of paper. When she’s done, she checks her work and taps her pen against the shelf Ben is perched on.</p><p>Her idiot brothers fall silent and blink at her. She rolls her eyes and turns the pad around to show them.</p><p><em>Okay,</em> she’s written, <em>I’ve worked it out. We were all 29 and a half exactly when we got thrown into the past. That means I still have a little over two months until I turn thirty, and you two are 31 years and two months old. October 1st isn’t our birthday any more.</em></p><p>It’s strange, saying that. Even stranger knowing that Klaus is <em>older</em> than her. He’s not supposed to be one of the oldest, christ.</p><p>When Five gets here she’s going to have <em>words</em> with him.</p><p>Klaus opens his mouth, then closes it again. His eyes flick up to hers before returning to the paper. His hand comes up to clutch at those dog tags he always wears.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ben says, raising an eyebrow. “You might want to check your numbers again, beca-”</p><p>Then he isn’t talking anymore - or presumably he is, but Allison can’t hear him. She looks sideways at Klaus.</p><p>“Tired,” Klaus says.</p><p>Liar. She frowns at him. Honestly, what’s wrong with her math? She checks it again, but nope. It all works out.</p><p>“But let’s not worry about when our birthdays are,” Klaus says, sitting up straighter. “Instead, let’s worry about <em>moving.</em> Getting our own place! Didn’t we talk about that? It sounds so nice, Allison.”</p><p>Allison purses her lips, but eventually nods. Fine. She’ll take the topic change, although she jots down a note to corner Ben and ask about Klaus’ deflection at the next opportunity. Flipping to a new page, she writes, <em>It should be close to here.</em></p><p>“Oh yes,” Klaus nods when she shows it to him. “Definitely. We wouldn’t want to abandon our queen.”</p><p>Odessa <em>has</em> been good to them, yeah. Far better than anyone else. And Allison has no intention of leaving the woman in the lurch even aside from the fact that they would likely have enormous trouble getting other jobs.</p><p>“What, no, they <em>love</em> me!” Klaus says, presumably in response to something Ben said. “I haven’t been glared at in like a week! Allison, tell him!”</p><p>She blinks at him, before realizing they’re talking about Klaus’ reception in the neighborhood.</p><p>And Klaus isn’t exactly wrong. He’s become much more accepted among the black community that surrounds the salon. He and Allison have kept their past quiet, but they make no secret of the fact that they’re comfortable with each other (most of the time, anyways). Plus, Klaus might actually be genuinely incapable of thinking himself superior to anyone. People have picked up on those things, and most of them have realized Klaus is one of the good ones.</p><p>Not all of them, of course. There’s always going to be some holdouts. But it’s only been three months, so Allison is hopeful that Klaus will be fully accepted in time.</p><p>So she reaches out and pats him on the arm. Klaus takes that as agreement, and sends a smug look at the space where Ben is.</p><p>They brainstorm for a couple more minutes about the qualities they’re looking for in a new place. Two bedrooms are a must, of course, because however fond Allison is of her brother she absolutely refuses to share a room with him after this. They can make do with one bathroom, although Allison forsees quite a lot of bickering over it even with just the two of them. Preferably an apartment, although they <em>might</em> have to settle for renting a room in someone’s house because it’s not like they have legal documentation here….</p><p>There’s a knock on the door before they have any concrete plans, and Allison stows away that particular pad as they start their day.</p><p>The day is much like any other, although since it’s a Sunday they’re opening at ten rather than eight. Klaus and Allison help Odessa set everything up, and greet the other workers as they trickle in. Soon after, the customers start arriving.</p><p>Odessa likes to have the radio on most of the time, so Allison flips it on and fiddles until it’s at the most popular music station. The sound of Dinah Washington fills the salon, and Allison sways a little as she checks in around the store.</p><p>If anyone had told Allison, one year ago, that one day she’d be working as a clerk/gofer in a hair salon for a dollar an hour, she would have laughed her ass off and asked if they were one of Klaus’ junkie friends. A year ago, Allison was the undisputed Queen of Hollywood, all but swimming in money and able (and willing) to get anything she wanted with only a few simple words. The thought of working in such a low position would have been utterly alien to her. Ridiculous. Impossible.</p><p>And yet here she is.</p><p>She’s not happy, of course. Allison doesn’t think she can ever <em>truly</em> be happy again, not <strike>unless</strike> until she can hold Claire again, until she can look into her baby girl’s face and hear her say <em>“Mommy, I love you.”</em> Not until then.</p><p>But….she’s not miserable, either. She’s not chafing at the indignity of her job, because there’s no indignity to be found. She’s treated with respect and courtesy by her coworkers and most of the people who come in - which is more than can be said for Hollywood, honestly. She isn’t powerful here, isn’t influential, isn’t even privileged (quite the opposite), doesn’t have her rumors or money or name to fall back on, and that’s how she knows that people are kind to her….just because they <em>want</em> to be.</p><p>Also, there’s Klaus and Ben to consider. Of course Allison was going to latch onto Ben, her awe at his presence doing most of the work to let them bond. But Allison was pretty surprised to find herself getting close to Klaus as well.</p><p>They didn’t start off on the right foot when she fell into 1961. Or, rather, they did, but the atmosphere of the upper class was so fucking toxic Allison is retroactively surprised they didn’t choke to death on it. After they got kicked out (for reasons she still <em>burns</em> with shame to remember, even if Klaus doesn’t think it’s a big deal and forgave her easily) and found Odessa’s, though, they were in a much safer and less stressful space, and that did wonders for their ability to understand and connect with each other.</p><p>Not completely. Three months can’t really overcome three decades of estrangement. Allison still wakes up from dreaming of Claire and refuses to tell Klaus why she’s sobbing. Klaus sometimes jolts awake and cries, clutching those dog tags of his, and won’t tell her why. Allison panics whenever anything touches her neck. Klaus flat-out shuts down if a car backfires nearby. They’re both always utterly silent when they go and check the alley they arrived in, only to find it empty, empty, empty, every single time.</p><p>They don’t talk about any of that. But….maybe someday they will. It feels <em>possible</em> now, at least.</p><p>Lunch break comes and goes, Allison and Klaus working on her throat therapy. Then the hours bleed on by until they’re wrapping up, cleaning the tables and sweeping the floor and putting everything away. Odessa asks Allison to balance today’s books while she organizes the store for later, and Allison agrees.</p><p>Klaus lopes on over to her while she’s working. “Ugh, are you doing <em>math?</em>" he says, wrinkling his nose as he looks over her shoulder.</p><p>She raises an eyebrow at him and nods.</p><p>“Better you than me,” he shudders. Then he glances to the side. “That was different, Ben, that kind of math got me high! I <em>loved</em> that kind of math!”</p><p>Allison suppresses a wince as Klaus so casually references his drug days. She dutifully keeps her head down as Klaus and Ben transition to their usual bickering, and tries to focus on the numbers in front of her.</p><p>That day - that <em>one single day</em> - of homelessness that Allison experienced before Odessa took them in shouldn’t stand out so starkly in Allison’s mind. It’s certainly not worse than being without her daughter, not worse than the clusterfuck with Vanya at the cabin, not worse than her years as a child soldier.</p><p>It was, however, a hell of a wake-up call. Because no matter how easily Klaus forgave her, it was still Allison’s fault they ended up that way, still her fault for not realizing what Klaus was doing to smooth over her arrogance, still her fault for not understanding the reality of what Klaus’ life was <em>like</em> before they came to the sixties.</p><p>If Allison had been pressed about her brother’s living situation before, she wouldn’t have cared. She <em>didn’t</em> care. Didn’t even think of it all that much, honestly. She knew he was an addict, knew he had his own traumas that made him unable to function in normal society (they all did, actually, it’s just that Allison always deluded herself that she was the exception), knew his behavior was erratic and off-putting to most people. But she never knew what it was like being homeless, and never tried to.</p><p>When they were thrown out of the Waters’ house, Klaus knew what to do. He made plans using what they had, reacting with practiced efficiency. He acted like he’d done this a thousand times before, because he had. Their terrible conditions didn’t upset or surprise him one bit, because he’d surely had worse.</p><p>It’s not that her one day of homelessness was terrible and scarring for Allison. That would just be so goddamned self-centered. It’s the fact that she realized <em>exactly</em> how Klaus had been living all those years while she was sitting in the lap of luxury in Hollywood.</p><p>One more sin to add to her pile.</p><p>She’s trying to be better, though. She really is trying. And not the way she was trying with Vanya, where she didn’t know how to begin and so kept defaulting to expecting ‘sisterhood’ to close the gaps. That was childish of her. Now, with Klaus, she’s trying to actually <em>understand.</em></p><p>Granted, it’s still pretty damned difficult. Especially since she still can’t <em>speak.</em></p><p>“Ooo,” Klaus murmurs, sliding into the chair next to hers. “Look who just walked in.”</p><p>Allison blinks out of the fog of her thoughts and follows Klaus’ indicative eyebrow wiggle. She looks up to see a man - dark skin, neatly trimmed goatee, modest but respectable suit. He and a few other people are milling around the entrance of the salon, and Allison remembers that there’s a meeting of the SJCC tonight. A civil rights group. The man moves, and speaks like, he’s in charge of the thing.</p><p>“He could order <em>me</em> around any day,” Klaus says, propping his chin up with a hand and absolutely <em>raking</em> his eyes up and down the man. “Yum<em>my.</em>”</p><p>Allison elbows him a little, because however accepting the neighborhood has become of Klaus there’s no telling what they’d think if his preferences got around. But silently, she has to concur. The man is <em>quite</em> handsome. And sue her, but it’s been a <em>while.</em></p><p>Then the man glances over and meets her eyes.</p><p>Allison freezes, and then looks down so her blush doesn’t show. But <em>damn,</em> his eyes are just as attention-grabbing as the rest of him. Dark and piercing and absolutely gorgeous.</p><p>She hears a quiet gasp from beside her. “Oh my god,” Klaus says, “Do you have a <em>crush?</em>”</p><p>Allison has never wished for the moon to explode again until now.</p><p>She hisses at Klaus to <em>shut the hell up,</em> but being unable to actually verbalize it means he always interprets her vocalizations however the hell he wants. Granted, he’d probably do the same even if she could speak normally. Klaus clutches her arm and looks ecstatic.</p><p>“You <em>do!</em>” he whispers emphatically. “Oh my gosh, this is <em>so exciting!</em> You’ve got a crush and he’s not even related to us!”</p><p>Okay, that one gets a jab to the ribs.</p><p>Klaus is undeterred, however, and he doesn’t stop smiling even through the wheezing. When he regains his breath, he goes right back to talking. “Okay, so, I will <em>generously</em> withdraw my claim even though I saw him first. That’s me being a good brother there, just so you know.”</p><p>Allison gives him a flat stare.</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Klaus sniffs in a probably-Benwards direction. Then he returns his attention to Allison. “Are you going to ask him out? Please say yes. Just because we’re stuck here doesn’t mean we can’t have fun! And he looks like he could provide a <em>lot</em> of it.”</p><p>Allison glances back at the man and accidentally catches his eye again. She looks away quickly, and tries not to let Klaus’ positively <em>salacious</em> tone conjure up images. She fails pretty spectacularly.</p><p>Klaus widens his grin and lays his head on her shoulder. “I know you’re thinking about it,” he says, in a quiet sing-song.</p><p>She shoves him off because he <em>deserves it,</em> the jerk, and Klaus dissolves into snickering like he’s still fourteen. Against her will, Allison finds herself chuckling a little too. She blames Klaus entirely.</p><p>The meeting of the SJCC (apparently an acronym for Society of Justice for Colored Citizens) continues, and Allison eavesdrops even after she finishes with the books. Klaus listens as well, playing with her fingers and intermittently conversing with Ben.</p><p>The man - who Allison eventually hears addressed as ‘Ray’ - is a good speaker. He easily commands the room’s attention, and his voice rolls out smoothly and confidently. He knows what he’s talking about, as well, and Allison can’t help but get carried along in his words.</p><p>The meeting wraps up after they decide on a time and date for a new recruitment drive, and everyone packs up and leaves. Ray is one of the last ones out, and for just a moment he glances back and meets her eyes.</p><p>He pauses for a heartbeat, and Allison thinks for a second he’s going to say something, but then his eyes drop and he steps out the door.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Klaus murmurs from where he’s now using her arm as a pillow. “He’s into you. Go get ‘im, tiger.”</p><p>Allison makes a noncommittal noise in her throat, but she can’t help but think about how he looked like he was going to say something before he left, and how, for a brief moment, she hoped he would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The lovely Timetogo actually figured out that SJCC stands for Southern Justice Coordinating Committee, but I was already committed to my name. So let's just give them a round of applause and apologies for doing all that squinting for nothing, please.</p><p>Also, as near as I could figure, Klaus' birthday actually was still October 1 while he was in the 60s. Go figure.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: references to period-typical racism, suspected hate crime (Allison's throat, y'know), and vague allusions to (hypothetical) incest.</p>
<p>Guys, thank you all so much for your support of me going on a break. I was a little nervous about the reception to the news, but I never should have doubted you. Virtual hugs to everybody, thank you. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raymond Chestnut likes to think he doesn’t dwell on the small stuff.</p>
<p>It’s practically a job requirement, after all. Equality, in his own humble opinion, is the single most urgent issue facing the Black community today. Reaching equality requires dedication, vision, and months and years of ceaseless, ceaseless work. There isn’t much <em>room</em> to worry about smaller issues.</p>
<p>So it’s a surprise when one of the women at the salon catches his eye and his heart skips a beat.</p>
<p>She’s gorgeous, there’s no doubt about that. Smooth caramel skin, bright eyes, mouth curved like she knows a secret no one else does. Ray might have seen her a couple times before around the edges of prior meetings, but this is the first time she’s stayed long enough to get a good look at her. Parts of Ray are both eager and dismayed at that, because he wants to keep looking at her all night but he <em>does</em> have a meeting to run here.</p>
<p>Being distracted doesn’t stop him from doing so, of course. Ray will never put anything above the cause, he made that promise to himself years ago. He runs the meeting with his usual smooth efficiency, talking and managing the members with a practiced hand.</p>
<p>If his eyes sometimes drift towards the woman at the back table, no one comments on it.</p>
<p>Of course, she’s not the only person at the back table. There’s a white man there too. And unlike the woman, Ray knows who he is.</p>
<p>It’d be a little hard not to, after all. The man (Ray is pretty sure his name starts with K, but he can’t remember the whole thing) has been a juicy subject of gossip around the neighborhood as of late. Ray likely would have heard of him even if Odessa’s wasn’t the nominal headquarters of the SJCC. Word is Odessa took him in when he was down on his luck, and despite several people muttering that she’ll regret it most have come to agree that he’s one of the good ones. There hasn’t been a single (substantiated) instance of the man disrespecting black folk ever since he settled in. And Odessa personally vouched for him, so that’s good enough for Ray.</p>
<p>Still, he has to do a double-take when he sees the man playing with the beautiful woman’s fingers, leaning on her shoulder, muttering something to her that makes her laugh, and smiling at her like she’s the best part of his life. She smiles back at him the same way, too.</p>
<p>….Huh.</p>
<p>Ray leaves the salon that night feeling a little twist of disappointment - very unusual for a meeting that went as smoothly as this one. He does his best to push it aside. Honestly, he’s being ridiculous. Would he have liked to ask the woman out if she was available? Yeah, he would have. But she seems perfectly happy with K-something, and by all accounts the man is a decent guy no matter his skin color. Ray is happy for them - in fact, that sort of equality is what he’s fighting for. One day, hopefully, a sight like that can be unremarkable instead of astonishing.</p>
<p>Ray nods to himself, and makes his way back home, putting the couple (especially the woman) from his mind.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>The thing is, however, is that they continue to be there for later meetings.</p>
<p>They don’t join in, not yet, but he can see them listening and he thinks it’s only a matter of time. The woman looks interested, keeping her eyes and ears fixed on the meetings (Ray is pretty sure she’s giving <em>him</em> the most of her attention, but she also pays mind to when others speak, and often looks thoughtful about the issues they raise). The man isn’t there all the time, and usually he’s fidgeting and sometimes mumbling to himself, but even when he <em>appears</em> to be distracted his eyes are still sharp.</p>
<p>A week and a half after Ray first noticed them, he learns their names: Klaus and Allison.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Ray blinks at Odessa.</p>
<p>Odessa just raises her eyebrows, folding up another chair and setting it aside as she does. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you looking, Ray.”</p>
<p>Ray is abruptly very glad they’re the only ones in the salon area. All the rest of the SJCC has gone, as it’s Ray’s turn to help Odessa clean up. He isn’t certain, but he thinks the two subjects of conversation - Klaus and Allison, apparently - are in the back rooms.</p>
<p>“....Yeah,” Ray admits, because there’s no hiding anything from Odessa, everyone knows that. “Can you blame me, though? Not everyday you see that.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t blame you,” Odessa says peaceably. “They’re a little odd, those two.” She glances towards the back room. “They’ll be okay, though.”</p>
<p>“Were they not?” Ray says, straightening a little. He remembers the last chair dangling from his hand after a second and quickly folds it up.</p>
<p>“How much do you know about them?” Odessa asks.</p>
<p>“Just what they are to each other,” Ray says, remembering how they looked at each other.</p>
<p>“Well,” Odessa sighs. “That’s all you need to know, really. They’re secretive, but it’s not hard to put things together. Klaus had money, or access to it, or something of the kind, but he just wouldn’t cut ties with Allison. They stuck together, people didn’t like that, they lost everything and came in here asking for help because they didn’t know where else to go. I let them stay in the back room for a few dollars a week, hired both of ‘em, and haven’t regretted it once. I think they’re planning on getting their own little place soon, it’s got to be cramped back there.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Ray says softly. He hadn’t actually realized the couple were sleeping in Odessa’s back room. That they are, essentially, homeless. “I’m glad you helped them. They shouldn’t have been treated like that.”</p>
<p>“No,” Odessa says, shaking her head. “Especially with Allison’s throat - you saw?” She taps her own throat to indicate.</p>
<p>“What?” Ray frowns, then realizes. “That? Thought it was a birthmark.”</p>
<p>Odessa shakes her head grimly. “Scar. Girl got her throat cut. Neither of them will say how - well, Allison <em>can’t,</em> since she can’t speak. They sit over there during lunch every day and walk her through some exercises, but no one knows if she’ll ever be able to talk again.”</p>
<p>Ray stares at Odessa in horror. “Oh,” he breathes, his gut churning. “That - <em>God.</em>”</p>
<p>It’s really all he can say.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Odessa says. She glances towards the back room, eyes flashing with muted, but furious, protectiveness. “It’s good she has him. And the other way around, too. Brings a bit of light into this world.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ray says. “I’m glad of it.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” Odessa says. Then she shakes herself, and gathers up the stack of chairs. “Alright now, Ray, you take care.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Ray says, tipping his hat to her. He leaves the salon and drives home.</p>
<p>He can’t help but think about Allison and Klaus along the way. Ray is no stranger to the systemic brutality visited upon black folk, and Allison’s injury isn’t even all that surprising in the abstract. But it still hurts to see in the flesh, right there in front of him. Hurts to hear that there are people who’d disown a man of their own kind just for loving someone who needs help, who doesn’t have anyone else.</p>
<p>At least they’re safe now. Or as safe as they can be, really, which isn’t the same thing but has to do for now.</p>
<p>He thinks about the two a couple times over the next few days, because how can he not, but for the most part he focuses on the SJCC. Their recruitment drive netted them a couple newbies, and he’s making sure they get a well-rounded look at what the Society is trying to do. One of them is having a bit of trouble understanding that Ray <em>means</em> it when he says the SJCC is nonviolent, but Ray is pretty sure he can break through the kid’s head.</p>
<p>That takes up a fair amount of time over the next while, to the point where he only pays cursory attention to Klaus and Allison listening in. So it’s a surprise when, almost two weeks later and around the tail end of October, Ray looks up after a meeting to see Klaus skipping up to him, Allison close behind.</p>
<p>Ray pauses, and blinks at them. “Hello,” he says. For a moment he grasps for <em>how</em> to talk to a non-hostile white man, but then he shakes himself for being ridiculous and sticks out his hand. “Raymond Chestnut.”</p>
<p>“Hey there!” Klaus beams, and it’s like looking at a spotlight. Ray blinks, which is probably how he misses Klaus grasping his hand in both of his and pumping it up and down. “<em>Lovely</em> to meet you, Ray, really. We’re big fans.”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s always good to have support for the cause,” Ray says, glancing at Allison. She gives him a little smile, and dammit, Ray doesn’t need his heart fluttering in his chest at that, she’s <em>taken.</em></p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry, how <em>terribly</em> rude of me,” Klaus says, looking between Ray and Allison. “Raymond, this is Allison. She’s gotten quite interested in <em>the cause</em> over the past few weeks.”</p>
<p>For some reason, Allison swats Klaus on the shoulder at that. It’s playful, and Klaus pouts at her as she rolls her eyes. Then she looks at Ray, and holds out a pad of paper.</p>
<p>Written on it are the words, <em>I really like what I’ve been hearing you speak about. You make a lot of good points, and seeing you take action to help so many people is inspiring.</em></p>
<p>Ray feels his cheeks warm up a bit. “I’m just doing whatever I can, no matter how small,” he says. And it’s what he always says, what he believes, but it’s never come out quite as - well, <em>awkwardly</em> as right now.</p>
<p>She gives him another warm smile, and it’s a couple more seconds before she can scribble down and show him, <em>That’s what’s inspiring.</em></p>
<p>Ray can only smile back at her, a little helplessly, because - well, that <em>is</em> what he’s trying to do, isn’t it? Be inspiring, be reasonable, be able to make people see the road to equality and think <em>I want to walk that.</em> He can’t do this alone, and he knows that. He’s always been pragmatic about that fact.</p>
<p>So it’s a little surprising to feel self-conscious about it, when he sees the words Allison has written down.</p>
<p>“Aww,” Klaus says, and the man’s voice feels like a bucket of ice water thrown right in Ray’s face. “You two are adorable. I bet you have lots to talk about, huh? I’m gonna leave you to it. Allison, I’m sure you’ll summarize the <em>relevant</em> portions of the conversation for me later, right?” He winks at her.</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes at him again, and makes a shooing motion. He steps back, hands raised, and Ray blinks at the tattoos on his palms. Interesting fashion choice, that.</p>
<p>Then Klaus steps away, slipping into the back room, and Allison looks at him before finally smiling and gesturing to a chair.</p>
<p>Ray sits down, a little hesitant. He reminds himself to just stick to Society business, talking about things he knows like the back of his hand, because he probably shouldn’t be as happy to have some alone time with Allison as he is.</p>
<p>And they do end up talking about the Society. Ray is pleasantly surprised at Allison’s interest and views on the cause, finds himself talking animatedly with her about the need for <em>action,</em> but it has to be the <em>right</em> kind of action, because history is full of examples of why violent revolution is detrimental in the long run, yes, even the ones that end up beneficial have a <em>cost,</em> and it’s so goddamned important that the only cost of equality is the loss of its opposite, even if it takes longer or feels less satisfying that way.</p>
<p>Allison is <em>smart,</em> he finds out. She scribbles answers and questions as fast as she can and still be legible, hits hard and doesn’t hold back. She’s hopeful, though, he can see that much. Or maybe the right word is faithful. It’s like she <em>knows,</em> deep in her bones, that things will be better one day, and the only question is how they get there.</p>
<p>It’s incredible, meeting someone else like that.</p>
<p>And then she quotes <em>Othello,</em> and all bets are off.</p>
<p>They talk for - some time, Ray doesn’t know how long. He makes a valiant effort to stay at least tangentially connected to the topic of the SJCC, but it’s a losing battle. Shakespeare leads into discussing other works of media, favorite and least favorite, and Allison spends a lot of time crossing things out before Ray can see them. They talk about things they’d <em>like</em> to see, and it’s a little bit surprising to see that Allison is firm in wanting to see same-sex couples onscreen. Ray - isn’t all that fussed if a man wants to kiss another man, because the kind of hate that gets directed towards people like that honestly doesn’t sound that far off from the hate Ray gets just for having dark skin, but hearing Allison talking (or, well, writing) about something like that so openly is unexpected.</p>
<p>Then he notices the hidden gleam in her eyes as she’s watching him, and he realizes she’s testing him. Which is damn reasonable of her, really.</p>
<p>So Ray replies honestly, says that that sort of thing would sure weed out the assholes of any skin color, and knows he made the right response when he sees her shoulders relax.</p>
<p>They keep talking, and move onto other subjects, and meander enough that Ray doesn’t even think of the time until he hears, “Hey, you two kids know it’s like one in the morning, right? We <em>do</em> still have work tomorrow. Shame on you for making me be the responsible one.”</p>
<p>Ray jumps a little and looks over to where Klaus is leaning by the half-open door to the back room. He waves at them, ‘HELLO’ starkly visible against his pale skin.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Ray says as reality comes crashing down again. “I - so sorry, I completely lost track of time.”</p>
<p>Allison looks surprised as well, and only now seems to be realizing just how many pages she’s filled. She gives Klaus a half-annoyed, half-sheepish expression. It’s an interesting look.</p>
<p>But, Ray reminds himself again, he can’t let his interest go too far. He forgot himself tonight, and he can’t do that again. It wouldn’t be fair to either of the people in front of him.</p>
<p>“Well,” Ray says, standing up. “In that case, I think I’d better get going.”</p>
<p>“Aw, I didn’t say that,” Klaus says, grinning at him. For some reason. Then he shoots an exasperated glance towards - thin air? - and says. “But if you want to go, I <em>guess</em> I won’t say no. Allison can give me the deets herself.”</p>
<p>Allison huffs a little and brandishes her middle finger at Klaus. Her expression could most accurately be described as saying ‘in your dreams.’</p>
<p>“Oh, you want to tell me,” Klaus says brightly. “Otherwise we both know I’ll just make things up.”</p>
<p>Allison pauses, suddenly looking apprehensive, and Ray looks between them with a bit of confusion. What….</p>
<p>“Come on, just a little baby bit of goss,” Klaus says. What the hell kind of white-boy slang is he spouting off? “I mean, at least tell me you’re going on a date? If this one didn’t count as one already, anyways. Does this count?”</p>
<p>….What.</p>
<p>“What.” Rays says.</p>
<p>Allison, blushing furiously, marches over and smacks Klaus on the shoulder with her pad of paper.</p>
<p>“Ow! Hey, that’s abuse! That is familial abuse!” Klaus cries out, holding his hands up as he hops away. Allison brandishes her paper threateningly until he’s out of the line of fire.</p>
<p>“What,” Ray says.</p>
<p>Allison turns back to Ray and clears her throat. She gives him an apologetic grimace, walks over and picks up her pen, and writes something as Ray is trying to restart his brain. Then she shows it to him.</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t mind my brother, please. You don’t have to think of this night as a date if you don’t want to.</em>
</p>
<p>Ray reads that. Then he reads it again. Then a third time.</p>
<p>It’s mostly the first sentence, if he’s being honest.</p>
<p>Which is why he looks up, looks between Klaus and Allison, and says, weakly, “Brother?”</p>
<p>They both blink at him.</p>
<p>“....Oh no,” Klaus says, staring. “Oh no, not again. Did you think we were together? Why does this keep happening! We tell everyone we’re siblings and there’s <em>still</em> people who think we’re dating! <em>What are we doing wrong.</em>”</p>
<p>Allison makes a small, upset noise. She shrugs, looking uncomfortable.</p>
<p><em>“Ugh.”</em> Klaus says to the ceiling. He looks at Ray again. “Well. <em>For the record.</em> Allison and I are siblings. <em>Siblings.</em> Adopted, yes, but not romantically entangled in the least. Please take that into account when evaluating Allison’s romantic availability - <em>stop hitting me!</em>”</p>
<p>In point of fact, Allison didn’t actually hit him. The pad of paper she chucked at him came close, though.</p>
<p>“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Klaus sniffs. “I can see when I’m not wanted - <em>shush you.</em> So I’m going to go back to bed, and you can work this out amongst yourselves. Ta ta.”</p>
<p>Before either of them can react, he’s strutting back into the back room and closing the door. Ray blinks after him.</p>
<p>Then he looks at Allison.</p>
<p>She presses her lips together, and tilts her head a little. Ray can’t help but notice that the movement makes the quiet glow of the lamplight reflect off her eyes.</p>
<p>She moves, but Ray’s hand reaches out and touches her arm. “Hey,” he says.</p>
<p>Allison stops. Looks at him.</p>
<p>“So,” Ray says. “It seems I’ve misjudged a fair number of things.”</p>
<p>She gives him a droll look, and he chuckles.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, sorry about that,” he says. “So how about we start over? I had a great time tonight, and I’d like to get to know you better. Over dinner, maybe? Tomorrow?”</p>
<p>She smiles at him, and he feels like the luckiest guy in the world as she nods a yes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings at end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s three hours before Allison’s dinner with Ray, and she’s nervous. Which is to be expected, really, but these aren’t the usual first-date jitters. Her worries are a bit….weightier.</p>
<p>She paces back and forth in the back room, which doesn’t help much because there isn’t actually that much space to tread. She can’t seem to stop, though.</p>
<p>The salon is still open, and theoretically Allison should be out there checking to see if there’s anything that needs doing, but she actually knows enough about the ebb and flow of customers by now to know there won’t be anything for her to do at the moment. So instead, here she is. Pacing fruitlessly.</p>
<p>It’s not that she doesn’t like Ray. He’s a good man, from what she can tell, and there are few enough of those in the world that she doesn’t blame herself for being attracted. And his entire attitude towards her is….incredibly refreshing. He likes her, that’s clear enough, but he doesn’t <em>worship</em> her, doesn’t fall at her feet, and she thought she enjoyed that kind of adoration a year and a half ago (hell, maybe even a few months ago), but now she’s finding that Ray’s brand of restrained admiration is so much more appealing.</p>
<p>Against her better judgement, Allison thinks of Luther.</p>
<p>Look. She knows it’s not - healthy, to think of her <em>literal adopted brother</em> the way she does (did?). She knows that. It’s fucked up and built mostly on trauma and bad habits and it broke so <em>easily</em> when things came to a head -</p>
<p>And she knows that.</p>
<p>Knows that <em>now,</em> anyways.</p>
<p>Involuntarily, Allison remembers the times when she and Luther would sit in either of their rooms and talk. ‘Tell each other everything,’ as Luther said. And they did tell each other everything, hopes and dreams and wishes and complaints and ideas and opinions and and and -</p>
<p>And somehow, it all seems so superficial, compared to her discussion with Ray last night.</p>
<p>That’s the difference in life experience talking, probably. As a child her entire life was nothing <em>but</em> superficiality, glossing over real issues with charm and rumors and violence and rumors and naivete and rumors. Her talks with Luther never really touched on anything of substance, because there was no substance in either of their lives. With Ray, she could - had to, actually - <em>think</em> about what they were saying and discussing. Think about the topics he brought up, about the cause he's dedicated his life to and believes in with all his heart and is so much more important than becoming a famous actress.</p>
<p>It’s not much of a foundation yet, but it’s the start of one. One that could be solid and strong and real, instead of one that crumbles the first time they disagree and ends up causing <em>so much pain -</em></p>
<p>Allison stops in the middle of the room and takes a deep, shuddering breath.</p>
<p>Respect, she thinks dully. It all comes down to respect. Luther - it turned out Luther didn’t respect her enough to listen to her, tried to decide what was ‘best’ for her even at the expense of Vanya, even though Allison never, <em>ever</em> wanted to be kept safe at such a cost. And maybe it’s not completely Luther’s fault after spending so long with Dad pouring poison in his ears, but the fact remains that he didn’t respect Allison enough to goddamn listen to her on subjects of actual substance and import.</p>
<p>(watching her sister beat her hands against thick glass, more walls than one standing between them - walking down a theatre aisle and seeing that tiny, <em>sincere</em> smile disappear like smoke at the movement from the wings -)</p>
<p>(How different it could have been. How close they were.)</p>
<p>Again, she’s literally only had <em>one</em> conversation with Ray. But - he respects her. She can see it. Did see it. Maybe she’ll find out he doesn’t respect her enough in the long run, maybe she’ll find that he’s reasonable on some topics but not others, but just based on last night? He respects her a hell of a lot more than Luther did.</p>
<p>She wants to see more of that. She really does.</p>
<p>Which is why she’s burying her face in her hands and trying not to sob. Or scream. One of the two.</p>
<p>Then there’s a knock on the door. Hesitant, soft, entirely unlike Klaus. So it’s a surprise when she composes herself and opens it to reveal her brother.</p>
<p>“Uh,” he says, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. “Are you….okay?”</p>
<p>Ben. It has to be Ben. He must have seen her - being ridiculous - and gone to get Klaus.</p>
<p>For a moment Allison wants nothing more than to slam the door in Klaus’ face, yell at Ben to butt out of her business, and curl up on her bedroll to sleep in past the time when Ray is coming to pick her up. It’s so incredibly tempting.</p>
<p>She doesn’t, of course. She can’t yell anymore.</p>
<p>“I’m on break,” Klaus says. “So I was thinking we could. Talk. If it doesn’t seem likely to trigger another apocalypse, I mean.”</p>
<p>Allison stares at him and resists the urge to - well, not slam the door in his face. But she really, really wants to <em>not</em> talk about this. She wants to keep this inside, where she can’t really control it but can at least control how she presents it, presents herself. She wants to be <em>safe.</em></p>
<p>….That’s never been an option for her, though. No matter how many rumors she threw out. It was always just a house of cards.</p>
<p>Allison sighs and steps back to snatch her pad of paper. She writes as Klaus comes in, and then shows him, <em>If you remember, it was <b>not</b> talking that started the apocalypse. So I think we should try to do better this time.</em></p>
<p>Klaus reads it and stuffs his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “Hmm. <em>Trying.</em> Not really my usual <em>modus operandi,</em> but sure, let’s give it a whirl.”</p>
<p>Part of Allison wants to call him out on that, because from what she’s seen so far in this time he’s done nothing <em>but</em> try. Mostly for her sake. But she shouldn’t get sidetracked right now, so she mentally notes that as a conversation for later.</p>
<p>They sit down on their bedrolls, and Klaus awkwardly clears his throat.</p>
<p>“So….” he says. “What’s up?”</p>
<p>Despite herself, she snorts a little at that.</p>
<p>“Hey, there we go!” he says, brightening a bit. “Can’t be all bad, right? What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Allison sobers again, and looks down at her pad. She runs her thumb along the pen.</p>
<p>Slowly, she writes, <em>It’s the date with Ray.</em></p>
<p>Klaus blinks when he sees that. “Wait, really? I never took you for the first-date-jitters kind of gal.”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. No, it’s not that. It would be so much simpler if it were that.</p>
<p>“Okay….” Klaus says. “So what is it then?” He glances away. “Well, she <em>said</em> she wanted to talk about it!”</p>
<p>With a sigh, Allison leans back against the wall and tries to think about what to say. She fails pretty miserably, so in the end she just tries to explain as best she can.</p>
<p><em>I like Ray,</em> she writes. <em>I don’t know for certain yet, but I think I could see myself in a serious relationship with him.</em> Which is terrifying all on its own, but that’s normal, that’s something everyone gets nervous about, and right now they’re discussing their own very <em>ab</em>normal and entirely unique circumstances. <em>But I can’t have that. I can’t do that, to him or me, because one day the rest of our siblings are going to fall into that alley and we’re going to go home.</em></p>
<p>And they will. They will if Allison has to work out the entirety of Five’s stupidly complicated math entirely on her own. They’re going back, and erasing the apocalypse, and <em>she is going to see her daughter again.</em> Nothing in the goddamned <em>world</em> would make her give up on that.</p>
<p>Klaus looks at her writing with an opaque expression. Or maybe it’s entirely transparent and she’s just forgotten how to read him. If she ever knew in the first place.</p>
<p>He tilts his head a little, and she doesn’t think that the way his fingers brush his dog tags is entirely under his conscious control. He frowns slightly.</p>
<p>“So,” Klaus says slowly, like he’s testing the words. “You think you - we - shouldn’t get attached to people here? Because we’ll just be leaving them?”</p>
<p>Allison nods.</p>
<p>“Heh,” Klaus says, although there isn’t a drop of humor in his voice. “You know, they just might leave first, instead.”</p>
<p>She frowns at him, confused, but he shakes his head sharply, roughly, grasping onto his dog tags. He takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>Maybe Ben said something.</p>
<p>“But,” Klaus says after a second. “You know what? I don’t - think we should do that. Cut ourselves off, I mean.”</p>
<p>Allison makes a questioning noise.</p>
<p>“I mean,” Klaus makes a vague, expansive gesture with the hand that isn’t grasping his necklace. “We’re here, aren’t we? We’re here, and the rest of our layabout siblings aren’t here. Not yet. And we don’t know <em>when</em> they might drop in. Could be they all pop up before the end of the year, could be we’re on our own for the next <em>decade.</em> Do <em>you</em> want to spend an entire decade - or more! - doing nothing but waiting? Because let me tell you, I think Five did something pretty similar, and it doesn’t seem to have done his head any favors. I’m not really feeling the urge to follow in his footsteps here.”</p>
<p>That…</p>
<p>That does make sense. It does.</p>
<p>But Allison can’t agree with him. She can’t, because that would mean -</p>
<p><em>I can’t give up on her,</em> Allison scribbles, jagged lines and too-bold slashes. She all but shoves it at Klaus, and he nearly drops it as he tries to grasp it one-handed.</p>
<p>For a moment he looks confused, but then his face melts into realization. “Oh,” he says softly. “Claire.”</p>
<p>Allison <em>flinches.</em></p>
<p>That’s the first time she’s heard her daughter’s name in almost five months, she realizes.</p>
<p>And - she hasn’t seen Claire in <em>over a year,</em> now.</p>
<p>And - she might not - a <em>decade,</em> Klaus said, maybe a decade or <em>more,</em> and - she won’t - she -</p>
<p>It’s not until Klaus pulls her into a hug that Allison realizes she’s crying.</p>
<p>It’s like a floodgate has opened inside of her, and all she can do is let it out. She can’t hold it back anymore - she can’t even try. She cries against Klaus’ shoulder, sobs out for her daughter - <em>Claire, Claire, Claire</em> - and cries even harder at the knowledge that no one can hear her, much less her baby girl who doesn’t even <em>exist</em> yet.</p>
<p>
  <em>What if she’s gone what if I never see her again what if I can’t save her what if she ends up never existing what if she forgets me what if <b>I</b> forget her what if she stops loving me what if what if what if</em>
</p>
<p>She can’t answer any of that. All she can do is cry.</p>
<p>And, despite that, Klaus continues to hold her.</p>
<p>After - some amount of time - Allison stops crying. It almost feels disloyal to do that, to not cry every moment that she can’t be reunited with her daughter, but despite what she thought for most of her life, Allison is only human. She can’t cry literally every minute of every day.</p>
<p>So once she’s done crying now, she sniffles some, and spends a little while just leaning against Klaus in the tiny cramped storeroom they currently call home. And -</p>
<p><em>Oh,</em> she realizes. He’s petting her hair. He must have been doing it for a while, because it doesn’t feel startling.</p>
<p>After another few minutes, Allison pulls back. Wipes her eyes. Looks at Klaus.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she says. The word presses against the damage on her throat, strains it, but it isn’t soundly strangled into silence anymore. She’s making progress.</p>
<p>Klaus looks at her, then at the ground. His hand creeps back up to his dog tags. He breathes, in and out, in and out, just like she’s doing.</p>
<p>“His name was Dave,” Klaus says.</p>
<p>Allison blinks at the non-sequitur, before frowning. She - she’s heard him say that name before. When he jerks awake at night crying, sometimes. It’s the only real coherent thing he says during those times.</p>
<p>“Dave?” Allison says, risking the slightly larger twinge of pain that comes with speaking again.</p>
<p>Klaus glances over to the side. Maybe at Ben. Maybe not. His eyes return to the floor after a second, and he doesn’t let go of his tags.</p>
<p>And he talks.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>There’s really not much she can say, when he finishes.</p>
<p>What <em>could</em> she say? <em>I’m sorry none of us noticed you were kidnapped right under our noses? I’m sorry none of us thought of you when you were being tortured? I’m sorry you got thrown into one of the bloodiest war zones of the past fifty years? I’m sorry you fell in love, found happiness for the first time in your life, and saw him die right in front of you? I’m sorry none of us ever cared enough to notice anything was wrong?</em></p>
<p>It’s a good thing she’s mute, honestly. They both know that those apologies would just be words in the wind.</p>
<p>“So,” Klaus says, voice ragged and raw, tears dripping down his face, still staring down at the floor and gripping his - <em>Dave’s</em> - dog tags so tightly it’s almost surprising his palms haven’t started dripping blood yet. “That’s - that’s why I got sober. I wanted to - see him. But. He’s not - here. He’s not dead yet. Actually, he’s up in Ohio right now, and he has no reason to care about me at all. Don’t know if he ever will, either. Five’s probably going to want to - fix - the whole week that led up to the apocalypse, and - I don’t -”</p>
<p>Now it’s her turn to hug him, and she’s not sure if she’s the one shaking or he is. It doesn’t really matter, either way.</p>
<p>Aren’t they a sorry pair.</p>
<p>Klaus leans away from her after a minute or so, and she lets go. She doesn’t - she doesn’t know how to fix this, any more than she knows how to get Claire back. The sheer helplessness of it is something - something she’s never encountered before. Something she never <em>thought</em> she would encounter.</p>
<p>“I don’t regret it,” Klaus says quietly.</p>
<p>She blinks, and looks at him.</p>
<p>Finally, he looks back. “I don’t regret it,” he says. His voice cracks, but his eyes are firm. “I don’t regret - loving him. I wish he - you know. But I can’t - I <em>don’t want to imagine</em> never loving him. My life would be so much emptier without him. And I know - yours isn’t nearly as empty as mine was, I know you won’t ever give up on Claire, but that doesn’t - you can be happy, Allison. You can find happiness here, and it isn’t a betrayal.”</p>
<p>She can’t speak. Can’t even move. She wants - she <em>wants -</em></p>
<p>Why doesn’t she know what she wants?</p>
<p>“Like I said,” Klaus says, quietly. “We might be here for thirty days. We might be her for thirty <em>years.</em> That’s - that’s a long time to live without happiness. Trust me.”</p>
<p>Allison wipes away more tears.</p>
<p>“Okay,” she whispers.</p>
<p>Klaus reaches out and wipes away a few stray tears on her face, ignoring his own. “Okay,” he says.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Ray comes to pick her up, and when she sees him -</p>
<p>She smiles.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>TW: some discussion of Allison and Luther's canon feelings for each other.</p>
<p>Look, I'll say it plainly: I <em>really</em> hate Allison and Luther's canon feelings for each other. It's a creepy and tumorous plotline. But it's canon, and I don't want to depict them as Evil for having those feelings. I just want to resolve them and move on. So that's what this is.</p>
<p>This is also resolving how Allison is in a <em>much</em> different place here than she was when she started going out with Ray in canon. Here, she has knowledge that she's not alone and will most likely get all her siblings back, and the hope that she can see Claire again. It's gonna take some serious perspective adjustment to consider entering a serious romantic relationship.</p>
<p>Which is where Klaus comes in, of course. Let's all give a hand for our newly emotionally mature boy, and another hand (as always) for the absolute angel that is Dave.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: discussion of period-typical racism, references to past homophobia and ableism, internalized victim-blaming, mention of police brutality</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Klaus has never been so proud of himself in his entire <em>life.</em></p><p>“You didn’t do that much,” Ben says, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Excuse me, did you or did you not witness me convincing Allison to go out with him?” Klaus says, putting his hands on his hips. There are a couple other people near enough to notice the crazy man talking to thin air, but screw them, Klaus has had <em>so</em> many worse reactions to acting like Ben is here that a couple glares and changed trajectories aren’t going to phase him.</p><p>“Allison is smart enough to reach that conclusion on her own, you just jump-started it,” Ben says, dodging around a fire hydrant even though he could have easily walked right through it.</p><p>Klaus blows a raspberry and flings his arms out, barely stopping himself from tripping. He finally decides to face in the direction he’s walking. “Pff, yeah, we’re all <em>great</em> at self-awareness and common sense.”</p><p>Ben opens his mouth, pauses, and frowns. Klaus grins wider, because he’s <em>totally</em> right and they both know it.</p><p>“So!” Klaus says, nodding firmly. “I’m taking full credit, and also the position of Maid of Honor at their wedding.”</p><p>“They’ve been going out for a <em>month,</em>” Ben says. He sounds exasperated. He should look into treatment for that, it can’t be healthy to be so negative all the time.</p><p>“Which means I’ll have <em>just</em> enough time to pick out the right dress!” Klaus chirps. It’s going to be green, of course, to bring out his eyes. Can’t be <em>too</em> sexy, though, don’t want to outshine Allison. He’d absolutely <em>love</em> for there to be at least some lace, though.</p><p>“Which you would get murdered for,” Ben says flatly.</p><p>“<em>Ugh,</em> don’t be such a Debbie Downer,” Klaus whines. “I can <em>dream,</em> can’t I?”</p><p>“....Look,” Ben says, and oh no, his voice has softened a little to actually sound sympathetic. That’s never a good sign. “Klaus, I know you’re happy for Allison. I am too. But you need to reign it in a little. Most people don’t move as fast as you.”</p><p>Klaus keeps walking for about half a block, with his hands now stuffed into his pockets. He notices they’re almost there.</p><p>“As fast as me and Dave, you mean,” Klaus says.</p><p>Ben is quiet for a few seconds, before sighing. “Yeah. That’s what I mean. Not everyone can find their true love by being flung into the sixties. Ray is a good guy. He might also just not be right for Allison. They’re still figuring it out. So cut it with the wedding comments, alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Klaus says, keeping his eyes fixed ahead. Dave’s dog tags bounce gently against his chest with every step.</p><p>“Good,” Ben says with obvious relief. “Also, they don’t make dresses for your figure in this time.”</p><p>“Oh my <em>god,</em> you’re <em>right,</em>” Klaus realizes. “Why didn’t anyone tell me the sixties were this terrible? I owe Five a punch in the face whenever he decides to show up!”</p><p>“Get in line,” Ben says dryly. He peers ahead. “Hey, maybe he’ll be here today.”</p><p>“Ooo, maybe,” Klaus says, delicately clapping his hands together. “Oh Fiii~iive! Come and face the music, you little time gremlin, you!”</p><p>He rounds the corner to enter the alleyway -</p><p>- but it’s empty. Again. Like every time.</p><p>Hiding the familiar stab of disappointment, Klaus glances at Ben. <em>“I bet he’s hiding from us,”</em> Klaus whispers exaggeratedly.</p><p>“Totally,” Ben agrees, straightfaced. Then he blinks, and jogs further into the alley. “Wait - oh, damn it, it’s gone again!”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Klaus says, scrambling after Ben and looking at the section of wall above the dumpster.</p><p>Sure enough, there’s no trace of the message that informs their siblings to wait here once they arrive. Klaus scowls at the empty space, now covered in a large splotch of greyish-red paint.</p><p>“Oh, come on,” he says. “Can’t a guy engage in a little vandalism for the sake of the greater good without it being erased?”</p><p>“Apparently not,” Ben says, frowning at the paint as if it offends him to his very core. “That’s the third time so far. Someone’s pretty dedicated to cleaning up graffiti.”</p><p>“Hooray for them,” Klaus gripes. “Can’t they point their work ethic somewhere else?”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Ben says. “Just come back and rewrite it tonight. We check every other day, it’s here 99% of the time, I doubt one of them’s going to drop in <em>exactly</em> in the narrow timeframe it’s erased.”</p><p>“Have you been paying attention to our luck at <em>all?</em>” Klaus wonders.</p><p>Ben flips him off for that, which, rude. It’s only the truth and he knows it.</p><p>Klaus sighs as he looks at the place where his message used to be. Ugh. And he worked so hard on the last iteration of it! There was a smiley face and everything!</p><p>They leave the alley, discussing plans for coming back later tonight and rewriting it. Klaus is pretty sure that they have an arch-nemesis now. Ben is less sure, but agrees with Klaus’ proposal of hiding a can of spray paint <em>somewhere</em> in an out-of-the-way corner of the alley. It’s pretty obvious this is going to happen again.</p><p>They make their way back to the salon, just in time for Klaus to recognize the man walking up to it. He beams and bounces over.</p><p>“Ray!”  Klaus says brightly, dragging the man in for a hug. He can’t help it, okay, even if he’s pretty sure Ray only hasn’t asked him to stop out of politeness, his sister’s boyfriend is the only person he can spontaneously hug aside from his sister at all (he and Ben don’t particularly have a hugging-type relationship). Klaus has lived a long and lonely life tragically devoid of hugs, so he’ll take what he can get. “How are you?”</p><p>“Hey, Klaus,” Ray says, patting Klaus’ back. There’s resignation in Ray’s voice, sure, but Klaus also likes to think there’s a note of fondness as well. “I’m doing well. And yourself?”</p><p>Klaus detaches himself from Ray and beams at him. “Aww,” he says. “You’re way too nice, Ray.” He pats Ray’s cheek. “I’m just fine. Come on, time’s a-wasting.”</p><p>They enter the store, and Ray smiles when he sees Allison. Klaus approves of that.</p><p>Allison sees him too, and smiles back. “Hey,” she says, when they get closer. It sounds pretty close to normal, and Klaus grins at the reminder of how she can now string at least a few words together.</p><p>“Hey there,” Ray says, and Klaus leaves the two lovebirds alone.</p><p>The SJCC members start to arrive shortly after, and Klaus helps to set things up. He’s not sure if he actually counts as a member, and he’s not entirely sure how to ask. On the one hand, he’s, well, white. On the other hand, it’s not like that stops him from agreeing with pretty much everything the Society stands for. On the other other hand, full participation sounds like <em>so much work.</em> But on the other other other hand….Klaus is pretty fucking sick of seeing Allison getting treated like she’s lesser by the majority of people in this city.</p><p>(That’s the part he hates the most, honestly. Klaus - Klaus knows what it’s like to be treated like dirt. Seeing Allison being treated the same way is fucking <em>infuriating.</em> Especially since, well, Klaus pretty much brought it on himself when he got those reactions. He was a flamboyant homeless junkie prostitute who talked to himself. Disgust and horror were pretty much inevitable when faced with <em>that.</em> But Allison - Allison is none of those, not even close, and yet she’s treated the same way just because of her fucking <em>skin.</em></p><p>He’s a little pissed about that.)</p><p>So. Klaus isn’t sure if he’s an actual, genuine member of the SJCC. But if Ray made the offer, he thinks….he might say yes.</p><p>God, he’s actually becoming a <em>responsible adult.</em> What the hell happened to him?</p><p>Klaus shuts up and pays attention when Ray starts talking (another change in himself he’s <em>highly disgruntled about</em>), and tries to ignore Ben making dry commentary in the corner. The issue on the table for today’s meeting, as it turns out, is the peaceful protest they’re planning outside a department store downtown that refuses to serve blacks.</p><p>“The problem is,” Ray says, with a furrow between his eyes, “There’s a rumor going around that they’re going to be putting armed cops around the store. Now, I don’t know if this is true. If it is, I’m worried about what their instructions are going to be.”</p><p>“You think they’ll incite violence?” a man says, leaning forward. Klaus thinks his name is Miles.</p><p>“Or try and bait us into doing so,” Ray says. “Or arrest us immediately on the grounds of ‘disturbing the peace,’ before the news can show up. Or one of those things happening even if they have other orders. I’m going to try and find out more, but I doubt I’ll be able to. It’s all just whispers on the wind right now.”</p><p>A susurration of unease runs through the room. Klaus grimaces himself. It always sucks when you don’t know which way the police are going to jump. Klaus has been in that position a few times, although Ben usually helped out by relaying what their side mutterings were about, whether they were secretly fingering their weapons, that sort of thing. A couple times when Klaus got arrested, Ben went to spy on the officers in charge to see what they would do with Klaus, which helped -</p><p>Klaus jolts upright so violently he accidentally falls off his chair.</p><p>The entire SJCC turns to look at him, blinking in startlement. Klaus blinks back from his position on the floor.</p><p>“Klaus, you okay?” Ray says, stepping closer. Allison beats him to it, coming over to Klaus’ side and helping him up.</p><p>“Graceful,” Ben says.</p><p>“No, <em>genius,</em>” Klaus corrects, then notices the confused glances from everyone except Allison, who just shifts to looking resigned. “So sorry, everyone,” he tells them. “I just have to, uh, do something I just remembered. Allison, you’ll fill me in later, right? Right, okay, thanks.”</p><p>He kisses Allison on the cheek and darts out the door before anyone can collect themselves enough to ask exactly what he’s running off to do. Which is good, because he’d either give a completely terrible lie or a truth no one would believe, because he’s busy boggling at his own genius.</p><p>“Smooth,” Ben says, following him outside. “Very smooth.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Klaus says. “I just had the <em>best</em> idea.”</p><p>Ben’s face shifts to alarm, which is <em>completely unjustified.</em> “Oh no.”</p><p>“Don’t you say that!” Klaus says, pointing at him, walking briskly down the sidewalk. Which way is the nearest police station again? Or should he be heading for the one nearest to the to-be-protested department store? Hm, decisions, decisions. “This is a good idea! It’s a <em>great</em> idea!”</p><p>“I doubt that,” Ben says. “I <em>very much</em> doubt that.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Klaus glares at him. “Well, how about I just prove you wrong then? See, Ray needs to know more about the police’s intentions, but no one’s going to tell him anything. So they’ll be going in blind if they don’t have more information. They need to get that information, which means they need a <em>spy.</em> And what are <em>your</em> particular skills lately?”</p><p>Ben stops walking.</p><p>“....Oh,” he says, looking vaguely stunned.</p><p><em>“Ha!”</em> Klaus says, pointing at him. He notices a few people giving him concerned looks, but whatever. “I <em>told</em> you! <em>Sheer genius.</em>”</p><p>“That’s….actually a pretty good plan,” Ben says slowly.</p><p>Klaus opens his mouth to gloat again, before he snaps it shut and frowns at Ben. “You don’t need to sound so surprised, you know.”</p><p>“Mm,” Ben says, clearly thinking hard. “Okay. So, which precinct are we going to?”</p><p>Crossing his arms, Klaus sticks out his tongue at Ben. “Well, I believe that’s your job to figure out. Since obviously you’re the brains here.”</p><p>“Klaus,” Ben says, pulling off Bitchface #3.</p><p>“Ben,” Klaus mimics.</p><p>Ben gives an enormous sigh. “Alright, fine. I’m sorry for being surprised you came up with this plan. It’s a good plan. Now let’s go and do it.”</p><p>Klaus <em>grins.</em> “Yes,” he says. “Let’s.”</p><p>**********</p><p>In the alley later that night, while they’re repainting the message on the wall, Allison looks absolutely <em>thrilled</em> when they explain the fruits of their afternoon. She pulls them both into a crushing hug. Ben laughs when Klaus has to wriggle out of it. Damn non-breathing bastard.</p><p>But, regardless. They have the information, and it’s - not the worst-case scenario, but definitely better than going in blind. The officers themselves don’t know what the <em>SJCC</em> are planning to do at the store, so apparently the plan is to send a bunch of armed cops to loom over the demonstration as a ‘warning.’ Given the tension Ben describes, it seems likely that the slightest hint of aggression, or anything that could possibly be misinterpreted as such, will send the cops scrambling for their guns.</p><p>Allions makes a <em>face</em> at that news. Pretty similar to Klaus’ own, in fact.</p><p>“Also,” Ben adds, “They’re bringing tear gas, but I sabotaged those.”</p><p>Which doesn’t prevent even more faces.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ben says with a grimace.</p><p>“Well,” Klaus says after a moment. “I’m glad we put in the effort to let you selectively interact with things, at least. Yay.”</p><p>“Yay,” Allison says with a sigh. Then it’s her turn to grimace. She fumbles with her pad for a minute to write, <em>So how are we going to explain to Ray how we know confidential police information? And when we learn other things in the future?</em></p><p>“What, we can’t just tell him the ghost of our dead brother is spying for us?” Klaus says lightly. He dodges the light swat from Allison. “Alright, alright, geez. So, cover story. What’s most plausible?”</p><p>They brainstorm for a little while, long enough for them to finish up with the message and walk all the way back to the salon. Klaus takes a moment from coming up with ideas (none of them are being treated with the consideration they obviously deserve - honestly, why <em>wouldn’t</em> Ray believe they got their info from aliens? Everyone believes in aliens!) to pout at their bedrolls.</p><p>“Please let Ray invite us to move in soon,” he says to no one in particular. Well, he could arguably be said to direct it at God, but he doubts She’d be happy about that, or inclined to grant his wish.</p><p>Alliosn splutters a little at his words, and looks at him incredulously.</p><p>“Oh, don’t look at me like that!” Klaus wags his finger. “We haven’t gotten anywhere with getting a place <em>sans</em> legal documentation, and he’s clearly smitten with you! And of course you’d demand that we’re a package deal, because we are as close as siblings can be.” He pauses. “Wait, no, that’s you and Luther. But we’re second place, which is a much less creepy place to be, so it’s all good.”</p><p>Allison buries her face in her hands and makes a noise, which may mean she’s going to hit him again. He edges away just in case. Damn, there really <em>isn’t</em> much room in here.</p><p>“Your contacts,” Ben says suddenly.</p><p>“Hm?” Klaus says, glancing at him while keeping Allison in his periphery.</p><p>“Your contacts in high society,” Ben elaborates. “Everyone around here knows you came from <em>some</em> sort of prestige before this. It’s plausible that you could still have contacts you’re leaning on to get information. That’s how we’ll explain knowing all this, and later things too.”</p><p>Klaus blinks, and brightens. “Oh, you’re a genius, Ben! I must have rubbed off on you, huh.”</p><p>Ben opens his mouth, pauses, then frowns. “There’s no way I can make a scathing rebuttal to that without making it sound like an innuendo,” he realizes.</p><p>“No there is not,” Klaus says smugly. He quickly summarizes the plan to Allison, and she (unsurprisingly) gives it her full support.</p><p>It makes him feel kind of ridiculously proud for some reason, the next day when they feed Ray the information and the cover story for how they got it. He’s surprised at first, but then he actually breaks out in a grin, steps forward, and <em>hugs</em> Klaus. Voluntarily.</p><p>Klaus has never been so proud of himself in his entire life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: mention of that good old reliable racism and homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Klaus finds out about Daphne’s death two weeks into December.</p>
<p>As it turns out, she actually <em>died</em> a little over a week earlier. The newspaper in his hand is announcing just how well-attended and tastefully extravagant her funeral was, how many people showed up to pay their respects, blah blah blah.</p>
<p>Klaus wasn’t there. Didn’t even know it was happening. No one bothered to tell him - and why would they? He’s not part of ‘society’ any more, and all his former acquaintances would be horrified at the Society he spends time with these days.</p>
<p>Just goes to show.</p>
<p>He’s not entirely sure how to react to the news. For over a year, Daphne was his greatest supporter. She fed him and housed him and treated him with perfect kindness, a kindness that was <em>incredibly</em> rare in Klaus’ life. She wasn’t Dave, of course, but no one is. She never even pushed for sex after he told her he wasn’t interested.</p>
<p>Klaus is pretty sure he must have loved her. He must have loved her at least some. Why else would it hurt that she’s dead?</p>
<p>When Ben told him that Daphne had written him into her will, he’d been flattered, but it wasn’t - he didn’t want her to die. But apparently, if Allison had never shown up, or if Klaus missed her arrival (but he doesn’t particularly want to imagine that), he would have inherited Daphne’s money <em>now.</em></p>
<p>He thinks he would have gone to Mexico. Not as a rich tourist, this time, but maybe - maybe with just enough of a trickle of funds to support himself as he wandered around the country. Live that hippie lifestyle. Maybe he could have met others who liked the idea of travel and freedom, surrounded himself with people who weren’t hungry lustful abusive backstabbers (because in high society or the streets or even the Academy, he’s never been rid of them, and he knows he’s not much better but <em>maybe</em> if he surrounded himself with better examples, with actual good people, maybe….maybe he could be good too).</p>
<p>Of course, that’s a fantasy now. He probably won’t be able to leave Dallas now, much less the country. Living on the edge of poverty does that.</p>
<p>But. Well. Even if Klaus did love Daphne, she turned out to be a racist asshole. He wishes it was different - god, he really does. But that’s the way it is. And it means that however much he wishes she lived a long and happy life, he….he doesn’t think he’s as sad as he would be if she died six months ago.</p>
<p>He’ll still mourn her. But privately. Quietly. Allison wouldn’t be happy about it.</p>
<p>Klaus sets down the newspaper and walks away.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Ray asks Allison and Klaus to move into his house a few days before Christmas.</p>
<p>It turns out that Klaus’ prediction of Allison having to haggle for his presence was unneeded. Ray is entirely accepting of the fact that Klaus goes where Allison does, and he assures them that there’s enough space for both.</p>
<p>“Marry him,” Klaus says, turning to Allison. “Please. If you don’t, I will.”</p>
<p>Allison gives a startled laugh, while Ray blushes a bit and smiles.</p>
<p>“Is that a yes?” Ray asks.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Allison says.</p>
<p>“<em>Oh</em> yeah,” Klaus cheers, throwing his hands up.</p>
<p>Ben smiles from the corner.</p>
<p>So they move in. Klaus refuses to take Ray’s office as his bedroom, because 1) he’s not that much of an asshole, and 2) it is literally right next to the bedroom Ray and Allison will be sharing and he has <em>no</em> desire to overhear anything that will be happening in there.</p>
<p>Instead, they clear out part of the basement. Ray used it mostly for storage before now, but most of it can be either thrown out or stacked more efficiently to one half, the walls are a lovely light blue once they get cleaned up a bit, and there are a few sunken windows to let in the light.</p>
<p>“Damn,” Ray says, putting his hands on his hips and stepping back. He looks impressed. “I’ve been meaning to come down here and organize this for years, but I never thought it could look this good. You got it good here, Klaus.”</p>
<p>Klaus grins and flops down on the secondhand mattress neatly laid down in the corner. “Your generosity knows no bounds, Ray.”</p>
<p>“It sure doesn’t,” Ray snorts. “Come on, I left Allison in charge of watching the turkey.”</p>
<p>“Then we should probably go save it,” Klaus says, jumping up and heading towards the stairs. Both he and Allison are very bad at cooking, thanks to never having to cook for themselves (for different reasons, of course, but it comes down to the same thing). Ray, on the other hand, has been a bachelor for years, and has no trouble cooking even reasonably complex meals.</p>
<p>Allison may have thought Klaus was kidding about marrying Ray if she doesn’t. He most definitely was not.</p>
<p>They go up to the kitchen and rescue the turkey just in time, and have a lovely Christmas dinner. Ray glances at the apparently-empty chair Klaus pulls out for Ben, but doesn’t comment. They talk, and laugh, and exchange objectively crappy presents because most people here have to pinch every penny but they still feel special anyways.</p>
<p>It’s the second-best Christmas Klaus has ever had. None of them can ever top the one and only one he spent with Dave, of course, but - this is a close second.</p>
<p> **********</p>
<p>Ben continues spying for the SJCC, naturally. He’s good at it, and often does so even without prompting. Klaus eagerly listens to the stories of the endless amount of petty troubles he causes for racist/homophobic/corrupt cops.</p>
<p>They should have started doing this <em>ages</em> ago.</p>
<p>Ray is pretty damn appreciative of the information they bring in, and knows enough to not ask too many questions. Slowly but surely, the SJCC grows stronger and avoids the traps (both social and physical) the cops set out for them.</p>
<p>It feels - good, doing that. Klaus never knew helping people could feel this good. Frankly, whenever he tried to help people before he usually ended up regretting it. Even with his siblings….especially with his siblings, actually.</p>
<p>But it’s not like that now. Naturally, Allison knows that the bulk of the work is being done by Ben, and she allocates her appreciation accordingly. But she also thanks Klaus for it every time as well, since it’s not like Ben could relay the gathered information without him. She says, laughingly, that he’s probably going to be the most useful person around until Five pops up again.</p>
<p>For once in his life, Klaus is actually being <em>useful.</em></p>
<p>It’s a heady feeling, that.</p>
<p>And not only that, but he’s actually bonding with Allison! It’s not completely out of the blue, because Klaus remembers very fondly when they were kids and liked to paint each other’s nails and talk about boys and do fashion shows. Those were some really nice days, but they just drifted apart once they started growing older (and, Klaus admits, he started falling deeper into drugs, but Allison also started falling deeper into her own addictions so he’s not <em>entirely</em> to blame there).</p>
<p>Now, though, their little soul-baring talk before Allison’s first date with Ray seems to have started the ball rolling on opening up to each other more. It’s slow, to be sure. They still have those fantastic Academy instincts to hide their own weaknesses and attack the ones they see in others. They don’t have another heart-to-heart about Claire or Dave for a while, warily waiting to see if the other will use what they already spilled against them.</p>
<p>Except that’s incredibly stupid, and they both realize it soon enough (and no, Ben does not help, no matter what he says). So Allison eventually sits them all down and demands that they have a family meeting every other day to just talk about issues they have as a family.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, the practice doesn’t go down in flames within the first week.</p>
<p>Probably due to Ben’s suggestion that they not press anyone who doesn’t want to talk. On the one hand, that leads to some fantastically awkward silences and short meetings early on. On the other hand, it - helps, a lot, to know that neither of his siblings are going to <em>force</em> Klaus to speak about everything, about Vietnam and Dave and a dark hotel room and an even darker mausoleum. And soon enough, it becomes easier for him to bring it up on his own. Not all at once, not facing it head-on, but coming at it through sideways steps and tiny nuggets is surprisingly less painful than he would have thought. Allison seems to feel the same way, dancing around the issue of Claire and the stupid amounts of racism in this fucking time period but always looking a little calmer at the end of every meeting. Even Ben opens up a couple times, about how the whole ‘being dead’ thing was seriously cramping his style before Klaus selflessly got sober and gave him the beautiful gift of corporeality (he phrases it a little differently, of course).</p>
<p>So it turns out that patience and understanding is the key to family bonding. Who would have guessed?</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Even more surprising is the fact that Klaus starts bonding with Ray, as well.</p>
<p>It’s expected that Allison and Ray would grow closer, of course. Klaus watches their blossoming relationship with a mixture of pride and bone-deep <strike>pain</strike> happiness. They’re really good for each other, in his opinion. Allison’s finally found a guy who loves her for her instead of for her rumors or wealth or fame (and the fact that she’s not related to him speaks for itself). Ray seems delighted to find someone unafraid to be outspoken and forward, who’s eager to share his work and his vision, and apparently he’s pretty fond of old films (or films that are pretty new but the three time-travellers in the house see as old) and is happy to debate them with Allison.</p>
<p>But Klaus didn’t expect to have common interests with Ray himself.</p>
<p>It’s not that Ray is attracted to him. He isn’t, not even a little bit. Klaus knows when men are attracted to him, has lived his life in a whirlwind of sex and drugs and parties, and he knows how to spot even the <em>slightest</em> hint that someone is interested. And Ray is most definitely not.</p>
<p>(Which is a little bit of a pity, really, but not so much Klaus would wish otherwise. He’s trying this new thing called ‘<em>not</em> hurting your family out of apathy and self-interest,’ and so far it’s a roaring success.)</p>
<p>He is, however, interested in Klaus in an entirely platonic way. He asks about Klaus’ hobbies and life and beliefs, draws Klaus into conversations about the SJCC, makes a point to include Klaus in daily life around the house. And Klaus guesses this is what normal people do when someone moves into their house; they get to know that person. It’s still weird as fuck, though.</p>
<p>But also….surprisingly nice.</p>
<p>Turns out, Ray is completely chill about Klaus liking men. Allison said so, before, but that was <em>in theory.</em> Klaus didn’t have the heart to tell her there are definitely people who’d express tolerance to a girl they like while actually not being able to stand the thought of looking at a ‘queer’ every day.</p>
<p>Ray, however, practices what he preaches, which is a lovely surprise. He’s <em>kind of</em> bemused by Klaus’ love of women’s clothes and makeup, but Klaus doesn’t hold that against him because it’s not like people actually know what ‘non-binary’ means in this time. And whatever reluctance Ray has about accepting all of Klaus’ quirks can’t hold up under a concerted siege that lasts all of two days before it crumbles away completely.</p>
<p>They end up talking about the obvious points of connection, which is mostly Allison and the SJCC and the different kinds of prejudice they’ve faced that nevertheless both suck balls equally. From those topics they find new ones, though, and Klaus never expected Ray to be so knowledgeable about knitting, or at <em>all</em> interested in learning German and Russian.</p>
<p>“My Grandma made sure I knew everything about knitting,” Ray says with a fond smile. “And when Grandma Helen decided you would learn something, you damn well learned.”</p>
<p>“Of course I want to know them!” Ray protests. “Do you know how many works you can only get the nuances of in the original language? But thanks to the War and the damn Commies, learning <em>either</em> of them would probably get me on the government watchlist. If I’m not already, of course.”</p>
<p>So, in the end, they work out a trade where Klaus teaches Ray German and Russian, while Ray teaches Klaus all the ins and outs of knitting.</p>
<p>(Ray is, of course, over the moon when he learns Allison also speaks six other languages. Klaus consoles himself with the knowledge that German isn’t one of hers. <em>She</em> was only taught the dominant languages of the planet, in order to be capable of rumoring the maximum amount of people possible. Klaus learned quite a few more, half of them thanks to Dad and half of them just by exposure to the sheer number of ghosts from all over the world that kept chattering to him. Okay, fine, he’s only <em>conversant</em> in the majority of them, and others he’s forgotten thanks to years of drug abuse and not hearing them, but he still knows at least twice as many at Allison.)</p>
<p>(It’s weird, realizing he’s better at something than his siblings. Realizing he always was. Almost - unsettling, in a way. Knowing a ridiculous number of languages has always just been a fact of life for him, a fact one no one’s ever made a big deal about, so when Ray falls over when he hears how many Klaus speaks it’s pretty startling to all three of them.)</p>
<p>So by the time Klaus and Allison (and Ben) have been living with Ray for about a month, they’re all pretty comfortable with each other, which is something Klaus never thought he’d be able to say. Sometimes he <em>aches</em> with the thought that he’ll never, ever get to have this kind of domesticity with Dave, but for the most part he can ignore that and focus on the good parts. The part where he has an actual friend for the first time in….ever, really, the part where he’s slowly but surely un-fucking his relationships with at least two of his siblings, and the part where he’s actually doing <em>good</em> with his life. It’s a bizarre conglomeration of the most ridiculous fantasies he’s ever had over the years (and, in fact, if Dave were here it would be literally <em>perfect</em>), but once Klaus gets past the implausibility he finds that he….well, he likes it. He really does. Two years after dropping down into that alley, eight months after finding Allison, and a month after moving in with Ray, Klaus is finally starting to enjoy the life he’s found here.</p>
<p>So, obviously, that’s when he has to go and get himself shot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look I just want to have polyglot Klaus, is that too much to ask. I don't think it is.</p>
<p>Also, the first section is my take on how he might have transitioned from high society to a hippie tour of Mexico to, eventually, the whole mess of a cult we saw in canon. Which is not happening here, you can bet your ass.</p>
<p>Instead I'll just shoot him. :)))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings at end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>Klaus has tagged along with Ray to buy groceries. It’s still a novel experience for Klaus to go to a supermarket and <em>actually buy things,</em> and Ray doesn’t mind indulging him (although he never lets Klaus buy any of the <em>fun</em> stuff, boo). But it is, actually, pretty nice to help fill up the cart with food and look at it and realize it’s <em>okay</em> to eat it, that he won’t get in trouble and it won’t make him sick and he doesn’t have to sleep with anyone for it. It’s mind-boggling, it really is.</p>
<p>Fortunately, Ray’s pretty understanding about how Klaus sometimes just stops and stares at their cart in astonishment.</p>
<p>And anyways, helping Ray out with the shopping is the least he can do. Ray is pretty solidly in Klaus’ ‘List of Awesome People That I Like And Like Me Back (For Some Reason)’. There are <em>very</em> few people on that list.</p>
<p>So Klaus cheerfully carries one of the bags out of the store alongside Ray, who’s carrying the other one. They’re talking, mostly about some nerd book Ray keeps needling Klaus to read, but Klaus will not fall into that trap. If Ben hasn’t been able to convince him to become a bookworm, Ray doesn’t have a chance. Sure, Ray has managed to get Klaus to read a couple ‘classic literary works,’ but only because Klaus is the only one in the house who speaks over a dozen languages and Ray really wants to hear what something sounds like in the original language. And yes, Klaus has sometimes gotten invested in a few of the plots or characters of some novel or other, but only when they’re actually <em>interesting,</em> obviously. Which not a lot of them are. Obviously.</p>
<p>Ben is an absolute liar when he says Klaus has read any of them more than once and it’s a good thing Klaus can prevent him from spreading such slander.</p>
<p>So Klaus and Ray’s discussion about books is purely for Ray’s benefit and no one else’s. Klaus takes the high road and pretends not to notice the smug looks Ray gives him over it, and all is well.</p>
<p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>Ray’s car is having some kind of Car Problem, so it’s at the garage getting fixed or tuned or spayed or whatever. Which means they have to <em>walk</em> all the way back to Ray’s house. Ugh. Fortunately, Ray doesn’t live too far away from the store, and they shopped light.</p>
<p>They’re talking a bit as they walk down the street, and Ray keeps trying not to smile at Klaus’ dramatics but he isn’t quite succeeding. Encouraged, Klaus brightly continues, even twirling around at one point in a bastardized ballroom dance move. Who knew Daddy Dearest’s lessons would be good for something in the long run? Although Klaus has to admit that he did kind of actually like those particular lessons. He could usually manage to incorporate a few moves into his nightclub dancing, and it was always unusual enough to catch <em>someone’s</em> attention.</p>
<p>But regardless. Klaus is actually just having <em>fun</em> right now, and he’s found that he likes making Ray smile. In an entirely platonic way, which is a <em>completely</em> new experience for him. But Klaus has experienced a lot of new things in the past few months and he likes most of them, so he isn’t all that inclined to stop or anything. And Ray doesn’t seem to mind either.</p>
<p>So Klaus twirls a little, and dodges Ray’s blatant and <em>clearly futile</em> attempts to get him to be more well-read, and knocks shoulders with him and switches the topic to Allison and Ray’s relationship, which is always a good piece of juicy gossip. Ray is usually pretty unflappable, but if anything gets him blushing it’s the cuter parts of his and Allison’s relationship, so he’s giving an adorable little grin as he talks about what he has planned for Valentine’s Day and Klaus is beaming at him and -</p>
<p>“Hey! You there!”</p>
<p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>It’s a cop who called out. Klaus didn’t notice him, and apparently neither did Ray, because Klaus feels him stiffen the same way. Now that they see the man, Klaus notices the edge of the police car - really just the bumper - sticking out from around the corner. There’s only the one cop, but his partner has to be around here somewhere.</p>
<p>The cop is white, of course. That’s one of the first things Klaus notices, although he’s sure it’s <em>the</em> first thing Ray noticed. Even though they’re in a black-dominant area, and there are in fact a few black pedestrians slowing down to watch the cop with wary eyes, Klaus knows that fact won’t help them. Honestly, it might do the opposite, make the cop high-strung because he’s in unfriendly territory.</p>
<p>“Hey there, officer,” Ray says, changing his stance so that he’s not exactly <em>deferential,</em> but his hands are clearly visible and body language isn’t quite as bold as usual. “Can we help you?”</p>
<p>The cop stops when he’s a ways out of arm’s reach, although that isn’t very reassuring considering his gun is right there on full display. Especially since his hand is braced against his hip, just brushing against it.</p>
<p>He looks at the two of them with clear and obvious disgust, and for a moment Klaus is pretty confused, because that level of disdain seems a little disproportionate, honestly. Maybe he recognizes Ray as the leader of the SJCC?</p>
<p>“There was a robbery around here,” the cop says after a moment, his tone clearly indicating he’d like to say something else. “Couple hours ago. Either of you two see anything?”</p>
<p>“Not a thing,” Ray says mildly. The bag dangling from his hands rustles a little in the breeze, drawing the cop’s attention.</p>
<p>“I just bet not,” the cop says. Well, sneers, really. “Out shopping, were you?”</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Ray says evenly.</p>
<p>It’s really not in Klaus’ nature to stay quiet for this long, especially in the face of so much disdain, but he strangles the first few witty retorts that rise in his mind. A voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Ben’s tells him to <em>Let Ray handle this, don’t fuck it up for him.</em></p>
<p>Right. He can do that. He can stay quiet.</p>
<p>So he does. It’s hard, reigning himself in like this, but he does. Ray and the cop exchange more terse, tense words, and then Ray says they should get going, which the cop at least doesn’t directly refute. And Klaus breathes out a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>Ray touches Klaus’ arm, one of those thoughtless little gestures people do to guide someone around an obstacle in their path even though they can see said obstacle perfectly fine. Klaus was already moving to the side to avoid the cop anyways.</p>
<p>It’s a complete chance that he notices the cop’s expression in that split second, the way he <em>looks</em> at where Ray is touching Klaus’ arm, the sheer <em>revulsion</em> that crosses the man’s face.</p>
<p>And suddenly Klaus realizes what the cop thinks of them, two men walking down the street and coming back from a domestic chore and acting so friendly towards each other and <em>fuck we were smiling at each other before weren’t we</em> and Klaus has absolutely no idea if Ray’s skin color is a factor in this kind of hatred but he feels pretty confident in saying it certainly doesn’t <em>help.</em></p>
<p>Klaus jerks away from Ray’s hand, jostling the bag he’s holding. Between his sudden realization at what the cop thinks and the immediate instinct of <em>downplay deflect don’t provoke</em> that rises up in him, Klaus doesn’t notice the handle ripping until the bag falls to the ground and spills the groceries all over the sidewalk.</p>
<p>At least he wasn’t carrying anything breakable?</p>
<p>“Shit!” Ray says, stopping. Klaus can’t help but echo the sentiment.</p>
<p>“Well, isn’t that a shame,” the cop drawls. Shit, shit, shit, Klaus doesn’t like the look in his eyes. “Looks like you two boys are going to have to get more groceries.”</p>
<p>“I -” Ray cuts himself off. “Klaus, help me clean this up? We can probably carry it all back home….”</p>
<p>“Home,” the cop says, disgust dripping from the word. “So you two <em>are</em> queers, then.”</p>
<p>Ray stops. “What?”</p>
<p>“Look, how about we just leave,” Klaus says, laughing nervously. He shoots Ray a look. “We can get more stuff later, come on, let’s go.”</p>
<p>“Hey now,” the cop says, and he reaches out and grabs Klaus’ arm. Klaus goes still. “I don’t think I said you could go. You just <em>littered,</em> after all. Committed a crime, right in front of me.”</p>
<p>Shit. Shit shit shit <em>shit.</em> Klaus has been roughed up by police before, even feared for his life a couple times, but he’s pretty sure the sixties are a bit freer about allowing police brutality. As in, it’s anything goes, and there’s a very real chance this cop is looking to murder one or both of them.</p>
<p>Apparently Ray knows that too, because he says, very tightly. “Let go of him.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so,” the cop says.</p>
<p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>The cop yanks roughly on Klaus’ arm, probably just a move intended to intimidate and show control. Klaus knows this kind of move, been through it a hundred times. It makes Klaus stagger some, but not much else.</p>
<p>Ray, however, is a damn interfering sonuvabitch who never can keep his nose out of whatever injustice he sees. He barks out a “Hey!” and grabs at Klaus to pull him away from the cop.</p>
<p>He succeeds, probably more due to surprise than anything. But as he does so, his elbow whacks into the cop’s ribs. It’s a glancing blow, and if it even bruises Klaus will be <em>very</em> surprised. Total accident, and Klaus isn’t even sure Ray notices.</p>
<p>The cop notices, though. Boy, does he fucking notice.</p>
<p>Because the next thing that happens is the cop drawing out his gun, and shouting “Hands up! Hands in the air NOW!”</p>
<p>Klaus has his hands up faster than he can process, and Ray is the same. Looks like they have something else in common, huh. Yaaay.</p>
<p>“Officer, I -” Ray says</p>
<p>“Shut up!” the cop shouts. “Shut you <em>damn mouth, boy!</em> Don’t move or I swear to god I’ll shoot, you just assaulted a fucking officer of the law!”</p>
<p>Klaus bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood, <em>don’t talk don’t fucking talk he’ll shoot Ray don’t fucking talk you idiot for once keep your mouth shut,</em> and doesn’t respond.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Ray tries to speak again. “Officer, it wasn’t my intention to -”</p>
<p>“I said <em>SHUT UP!</em>”</p>
<p>And Ray takes a step - <em>backwards,</em> not forwards. Maybe he’s intimidated, maybe it’s meant to be conciliatory, maybe it’s just involuntary, but. It’s motion. It’s action.</p>
<p>It’s enough.</p>
<p>It happens like this:</p>
<p>The cop pulls the trigger, and Klaus moves.</p>
<p>Ray goes down quick, but it’s because he’s just been tackled by a much larger projectile than a bullet.</p>
<p>Klaus goes down too, and he’s not actually sure whether he can get up again.</p>
<p>Because for the first time in years, the first time since the war, there’s that horrible, horrible familiar feeling of -</p>
<p>
  <em>pain.</em>
</p>
<p>Klaus lets out a strangled scream, and for a moment he’s not sure <em>where</em> the pain is coming from, just that it’s there and crashing through his entire body and it’s flaying him alive and <em>fuck fuck oh god fuck -</em></p>
<p>There’s shouting, he vaguely registers, but that’s so much less important than the pain demanding every scrap of his attention. there’s a blinding <em>bolt</em> that surges through him, whiting out his vision and making him scream again.</p>
<p><em>Fuck.</em> Did it hurt this much the last time he got shot?</p>
<p>After a few seconds (and more shouting, but that’s unimportant), Klaus manages to realize that the pain is coming from his - leg? His leg. The left thigh, in particular, and he learns that by trying to shift and instead making himself nearly black out.</p>
<p>Everything is a mass of noise and color, and Klaus finds that no matter how much air he sucks in it doesn’t seem to feel like enough? He’s lying on a hard surface that seems oddly sticky and wet (some small part of him notes that’s probably his blood), and he thinks there are - hands? - on him? Touching him? Wait, they’re touching his wound, that’s why it <em>hurts</em> so much, stop it, no -</p>
<p>The hands don’t move away, though, not even when he tries to shove them off. Although his efforts are probably pretty weak. Klaus moans.</p>
<p>He wonders where his gun is. He should have his gun on him, right? He should be - where is everyone? Are they taking cover from the VC? But Klaus can’t hear any more gunshots, so maybe they’ve retreated.</p>
<p>Where is Dave?</p>
<p>Someone is talking, Klaus realizes. There’s someone talking, and he thinks he should probably recognize the voice but he’s just realizing there’s a pounding pain in his head he hadn’t noticed until now, preoccupied as he was with the hell that is his leg. Did he smack his head on a rock or something? Great, maybe he’ll get brain damage too. Dave will really laugh at him then - except probably not, he’ll probably love Klaus even if there <em>is</em> brain damage because he’s ridiculous and wonderful and inexplicable like that.</p>
<p>He doesn’t think that the person talking is Dave, because Klaus would recognize any part of Dave no matter what. But - that means something is wrong, isn’t it? Dave would fight his way across half the battlefield to be by Klaus’ side if he knew he was wounded. So where is he now? What’s - something is -</p>
<p>The voice keeps talking, and Klaus can’t be bothered to decipher the actual words it’s saying, because he’s far too preoccupied with trying to remember <em>what happened to Dave,</em> but he blinks in the general direction of the voice and there’s a fuzzy image that slowly resolves itself into….</p>
<p>Into….</p>
<p>“Oh,” Klaus mumbles.</p>
<p>Just that. <em>Oh.</em></p>
<p>Because he’s not in ‘Nam anymore. He hasn’t been for two years now. Dave isn’t here because he’s dead, or he’s alive but he’s never met Klaus, one of the two. That’s where Dave is. Where he’ll always be.</p>
<p>“Klaus,” Ray says. Klaus recognizes his name, but Ray then goes on to say more things. Klaus can’t keep up with it all, syllables tripping and flowing into each other like cheap watercolors, but he says Klaus’ name a couple more times so it’s <em>probably</em> about him? Klaus should probably listen to that, because Ray is pretty smart and probably knows more about what’s going on right now, but it’s hard. His leg hurts, and his head hurts, and his heart feels like it’s bleeding out in front of him all over again.</p>
<p>Klaus breathes in, breathes out, and coughs on nothing. The movement jars his leg, and there’s a new wash of pain. His vision flickers like static, and Ray’s voice rises in pitch.</p>
<p><em>Oh,</em> Klaus remembers all of a sudden. Right. The chest isn’t the only place you can bleed out from. There’s an artery in people’s thighs, isn’t there?</p>
<p>He blinks, but his eyes aren’t working all that well anymore. Or maybe nighttime just decided to come early today.</p>
<p>The pain is fading, somewhat. That’s nice.</p>
<p>Klaus thinks - he thinks he wants to catch some sleep. He’s very tired.</p>
<p>Maybe he might even get to see Dave.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trigger warnings: police brutality, homophobia, hints of racism</p>
<p>Well, a couple of you guessed correctly how our boy would get shot, although I bet you wish you didn't. :(</p>
<p>Also, look, I know situations like this is canon to the show <em>and</em> real life, and that's <em>fucking awful,</em> but please don't get political in the comments, I'll just ask for that right now. Y'all are generally good about that but this is a powder keg of a subject.</p>
<p>I hope you all have a long and productive weekend, and that this cliffhanger torments you the whole time! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: brief mention of period-typical racism, discussion of period-typical homophobia, aftermath of police brutality, injury, mention of past drug addiction.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s three weeks, two days, and five hours exactly after the shooting when Klaus wakes up.</p>
<p>Ray knows this because he’s kept careful track of every goddamned minute, a feat made horribly easier by the fact that his watch got gummed up with drying blood.</p>
<p>He hasn’t gotten a new one. Every time he thinks of doing so, he feels ill, for some reason.</p>
<p>But that’s a minor issue, and one not worth spending time agonizing over, so Ray manages to put it out of his mind most days. He has so many other priorities to deal with, after all.</p>
<p>Allison, for one. She’s strong, she’s so damn strong, but anyone would have their strength tested by this. Klaus’ injuries are severe - the bullet splintered his femur and caused a shard of bone to nick an artery. Ray was the only thing that kept him from bleeding out. And the blow to his head from hitting the sidewalk is what’s caused the coma, far as the doctors can tell. They don’t know if there’ll be other effects once he wakes up. If he wakes up.</p>
<p>It’s been three weeks and two days since Allison has smiled, as well.</p>
<p>Ray also has to deal with unrest in the SJCC, as well as in the wider black neighborhood around him as a whole. Everyone knows what happened by now - they knew by the end of the day of, in fact. And Ray found that there is, in fact, a way to get black folk angry over injustice done to a white man.</p>
<p>Most of it is due to both Klaus and Ray’s own standings, of course. Klaus has already been tacitly accepted by the folk around Odessa’s, coming to be viewed as one of the few genuinely decent white men around. By this point, the people who don’t like him are outnumbered by the ones who do. And Ray is well aware of the respect his own work has garnered. Not everyone might like his nonviolence, but they know he damn well will <em>not</em> let injustice slide, even if he has to call out the Mayor himself, and that gets him respect. Plus, the SJCC has been rising in prominence lately (thanks in no small part to Klaus’ insider information), and they’re steadily making progress in the cause.</p>
<p>So the reaction to Klaus taking a cop’s bullet for Ray probably could have been predicted, in hindsight. If they’d ever bothered to think about it, which Ray hadn’t, because why the fuck would he?</p>
<p>It’s funny, Ray thinks bleakly. All his work trying to recruit for the SJCC, and it turns out all he needed to do was get a white man to take a bullet for him. Apparently that’s interesting enough to gain people’s attention, provoke curiosity, get black teenagers to come up and ask him what the <em>hell</em> SJCC is all about, because if it can convince a white man to die for a black man it must be doing <em>something.</em></p>
<p>Ray hates it when they act like Klaus died. He hasn’t. He <em>won’t.</em> He’s going to wake up.</p>
<p>He just has to believe that. Has to. For Allison’s sake, if no one else’s.</p>
<p>Which is why three weeks, two days, and five hours after Klaus took that goddamned bullet for him, Ray gets a phone call, and finally starts to breathe again.</p>
<p>They rush down to the hospital - not the one Klaus first got taken to after the shooting, but a different one. One that allows Ray and Allison past the front doors. It was hell getting Klaus transferred, but they did it.</p>
<p>Ray halts outside the room where Klaus is staying. This is Allison’s brother, after all. He’s not going to distract her from reuniting with Klaus after the guy nearly died and was in a coma for over three weeks. He hangs back as she heads inside, and he doesn’t even think she notices. The door swings shut behind her, but not before Ray hears her let out the kind of sob that can only precede a biblical flood of tears.</p>
<p>It falls to Ray to talk to the doctors, then. He does so, and learns that Klaus is disoriented and spacey, but that’s normal for just coming out of a coma. From the tests they’ve done so far, he doesn’t seem to have any noticeable brain damage, although of course they need to do more tests and keep an eye on him for a while. His leg is still doing as well as can be expected, no change there. As Allison and Ray predicted, he refused the offer of painkillers once he woke up.</p>
<p>There’s a bit more medical talk, but the gist of it turns out to be that they want to keep him for a few more days of observation, but if it turns out everything looks fine and healing uncomplicatedly, he’ll be ready to go back home with Ray and Allison. The doctors are optimistic it’ll happen.</p>
<p>Eventually, Ray exhausts his well of questions, and the doctors nudge him towards the door before heading off.</p>
<p>Ray looks dubiously at the door, and enters….cautiously.</p>
<p>Allison and Klaus have evidently already gotten the hugging part of their reunion done with, or maybe it’s just too uncomfortable when one of the participants is bedbound. Allison is holding Klaus’ hand, though, as she perches on the side of his bed. She hasn’t bothered to wipe away her tears, or maybe she just stopped bothering after they kept getting replaced.</p>
<p>She hasn’t cried once since the shooting. That Ray knows of, anyway, and he <em>thinks</em> he would.</p>
<p>Klaus manages to look exhausted even though he was just unconscious for three weeks, and Ray can immediately tell that he’s not going to manage to stay awake for too much longer today. Nevertheless, he’s smiling at Allison - at a fraction of his usual brightness, true, but it’s a smile Ray wasn’t at all sure he’d see again, and the sight makes his heart feel like it’s suddenly shed a thousand pounds.</p>
<p>Then Klaus notices him, and he brightens a little. “Ray,” Klaus says, voice rusty from disuse. “Oh, good. They said you were okay, but….”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Klaus,” Ray says, coming forward. He takes the open chair by the bedside, the one Allison has spent hours sitting in. “Completely fine. Thanks to you.”</p>
<p>Klaus looks moderately pleased with himself. “I’m a <em>hero.</em>”</p>
<p>Allison gives a wet laugh, and Ray finds himself smiling a little too, even as he tries to forget the warm stickiness of blood on his hands. “Yeah,” he says. “You are. I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough, Klaus. You saved my life.”</p>
<p>“Pff, just another day in the life,” Klaus mumbles. He blinks heavily. “Kinda wish I remembered it better….did I say something awesome and dramatic, at least?”</p>
<p>No. No, he didn’t. Ray has the misfortune to remember <em>every damn second</em> of the whole thing - how it felt to press down on Klaus’ leg and feel the bone give way to pressure, how the blood pooled around him, how Klaus’ screaming sounded. There were no dramatic or witty almost-last words. In fact, Ray couldn’t really make out what he <em>was</em> saying, slurred as it was. Sounded like <em>“wave, wave,”</em> although Ray doubts it was that exactly.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” Ray just says.</p>
<p>“Aww,” Klaus says. He’s not looking at either of them anymore, instead staring blankly at the ceiling. “That’s no….fun….”</p>
<p>Allison reaches out with her free hand and brushes his hair to the side. “Get some sleep,” she says quietly. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”</p>
<p>“What if I wake up….at night, though,” Klaus mumbles, clearly fighting a losing battle against sleep. “Two of you have….lives, you….know….”</p>
<p>For some reason Allison looks like she’s about to burst into tears of - happiness? - when she hears that, but Klaus is asleep within the next few seconds. She takes a deep, shuddering breath, and continues holding his lax hand.</p>
<p>Ray leans back in his chair and looks at them. There’s a lump in his throat, and it takes some time to swallow it down.</p>
<p>“Their prognosis on his leg hasn’t changed,” he says at last, after several minutes have passed in silence.</p>
<p>Allison swallows, and finally looks over at him. “It could be worse,” she says.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ray nods. “It’s going to be an adjustment, though.”</p>
<p>“He can probably still stay in the basement,” Allison says after a moment. “It’s only the first month or two where he can’t handle stairs, right? He can sleep on the couch.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Ray says. “But Allison, remember, he’ll probably need to use a cane more often than not. And I know he won’t want to use painkillers, so that might - or will, almost definitely - make it harder on him sometimes. If the basement stairs are still too much after three, four months, he might have to move to the ground floor.” Ray thinks. “We could probably convert the dining room….”</p>
<p>Allison looks troubled, but shakes her head. “It’s good to have plans,” she says, “But let’s focus on short-term right now. He hasn’t even been discharged yet.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Ray says. “Of course.”</p>
<p>They lapse into silence again. Allison massages her throat a little, and Ray remembers to get her some water to soothe it. The ticking of the clock remains the background for the rest of the hour. Both of them sit there, lost in thought.</p>
<p>Ray thinks, involuntarily and for the umpteenth time, of his blood-soaked watch. He still has it, though he couldn’t say why. He hasn’t let Allison see it, of course, but it’s still there, shoved into an old hatbox in the back of his closet. He’s only taken it out a couple of times since the shooting - although even those times were fairly inexplicable, since he just ended up staring at the frozen hands.</p>
<p>Maybe he can stop that, now.</p>
<p>There are a dozen little things they’ll have to do now that Klaus is awake. He’s had two surgeries on his leg in the time he’s been unconscious, repairing the damage done by the bullet. Most of his recovery was done while he was unconscious, which is lucky if you look at it a certain way. However, the doctors stressed that without painkillers, the rest of his healing is still going to be very unpleasant for him. Ray doesn’t know how else to help Klaus there except by making the house as comfortable and convenient as possible. They can do what they can about that tonight.</p>
<p>He’ll have to see if he should delegate some of his SJCC duties. Allison will certainly want to. She’s been working her fingers off, throwing herself into both the SJCC and her job at Odessa’s in order to keep her mind off things, and she’ll want to stop and spend more time with Klaus now. Ray busies himself for a few minutes figuring out how to reassign her work. As for himself….he’ll have to see.</p>
<p>And - oh, damn, speaking of the SJCC -</p>
<p>Allison looks at him with a question in her eyes when he stands. He gives her a quick smile. “I should probably call people and tell them the good news.”</p>
<p>Realization and surprise blooms across Allison’s face, and she nods. “Of course.”</p>
<p>Ray quickly finds the hospital’s public phones, and calls Odessa. She’s tough, Odessa is, and not one prone to (obvious) displays of sentiment. But Ray hears the catch in her voice as he tells her Klaus is awake now, and that initial signs are good. She tells him that she might come and drop by once Klaus is out of the hospital, and Ray tells her she’s always welcome at his house. He means it, too.</p>
<p>After that, he calls a couple of others in the SJCC, either the ones who know Klaus and expressed that they wanted to know when he woke up, or the ones that will have to take up Allison and maybe Ray’s duties. The two lists have some substantial overlap.</p>
<p>He makes his way back to Allison, though not before remembering the time and swinging by the cafeteria for the both of them. While they’re eating, Klaus wakes up again. He’s a little less groggy this time, staying awake longer. Although that doesn’t mean they give into his pleading to share their food when he has his own delivered after a few minutes.</p>
<p>Eventually, he falls asleep again, and visiting hours are over shortly afterwards.</p>
<p>From the look on her face, Ray is pretty sure Allison is thinking of bullying the staff into letting her stay the night, but he manages to coax her out with the reminder that they have to get the house ready.</p>
<p>Which they do. It doesn’t take much in the end, honestly, but it’s something to fuss over, and Allison could use the distraction (so could Ray, for that matter).</p>
<p>And then they wait.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>It’s three weeks, six days, and seven hours after the shooting when Klaus gets to come home.</p>
<p>He does so in a wheelchair, although he has to get out and heavily lean on Ray to climb the steps to the front door. Allison picks up the chair (Ray limits himself to one appreciative glance at how effortless it is for her) and carries it inside.</p>
<p>The silence from Klaus during all this is uncharacteristic and frankly a little concerning. Ray doesn’t blame him. Klaus has tried to be upbeat about the fact that his leg will never be the same, and it <em>is</em> true that things could be a lot worse, but it’s not great. It’s terrible, in fact. The fact that one <em>idiot</em> cop and his goddamned prejudice led to one of the best men Ray has ever known being crippled, probably for life, is….god, he can’t even say he’s fighting against <em>this specifically,</em> because it wasn’t even about race.</p>
<p>He’s thought about that a lot. The fact that it wasn’t Ray’s skin that prompted the cop to shoot (or, well, it probably was a factor, but it wasn’t the <em>main</em> one) but something much less visible, something decided entirely on a whim after the cop saw two men being friendly with each other and jumped to conclusions. Things probably would have played out the exact same way if Klaus was straight as a ruler.</p>
<p>There’s some terrible irony in that, Ray thinks, although he can’t quite decide what it is and isn’t sure he wants to.</p>
<p>They get Klaus situated on the couch, and he lights up a little when he sees it’s been decked out as close to a comfortable bed as they could manage. He also shoots suspicious looks at the books on the table.</p>
<p>“I figured this was the prime time to throw some books at you, considering you can’t get away now,” Ray says when he notices.</p>
<p>Klaus gives an exaggerated huff, and Ray smiles to himself and re-checks that the piles are the ones Allison said that Klaus secretly likes.</p>
<p>Allison leans over and hugs Klaus when he’s comfortable, and he hugs back. They stay that way for a minute or so, and….Ray feels some part of his soul ease up a little, seeing that.</p>
<p>“I’m okay, Allison,” Klaus says. He sighs a little. “I’m okay.”</p>
<p>Allison squeezes him briefly, then leans back so she can see his face. “Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, you are. And we’re all right here, okay? We’re all here for you.”</p>
<p>“She’s right,” Ray says.</p>
<p>Klaus smiles a little. “I know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So! Plot twist, Klaus did <em>not</em> end up dying and resurrecting! Instead, I have once again engaged in my preferred pastime of permanently maiming my favorite characters. Be thankful I didn't do worse, honestly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings at end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Klaus <em>has,</em> in fact, been injured before. It was kind of inevitable, living the life he did. He’s had broken bones and cuts and bruises and burns and <em>oh</em> so many more. Some of them were even accidents.</p><p>When he went to Vietnam, there wasn’t actually much Klaus hadn’t experienced. <em>Actually</em> getting shot was new, but Klaus got his first gun pointed at him when he was twelve, okay, he always knew his luck was going to run out one day. Shrapnel was a bitch, but so was getting thrown through a window (not as harmless as movies liked to imply). Pissing off the wrong person could have painful consequences? Story of his life. Being treated like expendable dirt by guys lounging in armchairs safely away from the fight? Wow, how novel. Constant threat of death if you put one foot wrong? <em>Please.</em></p><p>The point is, Klaus has lived through a lot, and can bounce back from even more. That includes physical injuries, which have mostly just been minor inconveniences up until now because not even bullets could keep him down for long.</p><p>That’s….<em>sort of</em> still true. The bullet he took for Ray (and when the hell did he get that selfless?) could have easily ensured he never walked again, but it didn’t come to that. He’ll be back on his feet in a couple months, half a year at absolute most. It isn’t the worst-case scenario.</p><p>And Klaus knows worst-case scenarios.</p><p>Still, though, the reality is….not great.</p><p>Klaus doesn’t want to be ungrateful, but he thinks he’s justified in being a little angry about <em>being crippled for life for no reason by some self-righteous asshole.</em> Who, by the way, was apparently never even reprimanded, not that Klaus really expected him to be. Some things really do stay the same.</p><p>It’s hard, adjusting. The first week back home (and when, exactly, did Ray’s house become ‘home’ to him?) has Klaus strictly forbidden from putting any weight on his leg unless <em>absolutely</em> necessary. So he’s all but glued to the couch, forced to entertain himself with anything in reach.</p><p>People do visit, of course. Odessa, a few SJCC members. It’s actually pretty startling how many of them are glad to see that he’s okay. Compared to getting kidnapped out of his family’s house and tortured for an entire day without anyone caring, it’s downright <em>weird</em> to see people he only casually knows be happy at his recovery.</p><p>But visitors only take up a small portion of the long hours that are now part of Klaus’ life. Allison and Ray sit and talk with him sometimes (why?), but they have their own lives and things to do. They can’t just drop everything and entertain him when he’s bored. There’s Ben, of course, but he and Ben have a certain kind of relationship. They’ve been in such close proximity for so long that any <em>forced</em> proximity is….not a good idea. Things can get nasty. So while Ben hangs around more often than Allison and Ray, he has to take quite a few breaks so they don’t end up trying to throttle each other. Which means there’s still a hefty amount of time where Klaus is on his own in terms of entertainment.</p><p>The problem is: Klaus’ head fucking hates him now.</p><p>That is, he gets headaches. Horrible, painful, skull-splitting migraines that white out his vision and make him cry from the pain. He fucking <em>wishes</em> Ben would just strangle him into unconsciousness during those times. The headaches plow into him whenever he tries doing literally anything to pass the time: he can’t read or watch TV for more than ten minutes before it gets to be too much. The <em>clack-clack</em> of knitting needles trigger one after a few minutes. Even strong smells can cause his head to start exploding, so all his food has to be disgustingly bland.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Klaus spends most of his first week back either sleeping or trying to get back to sleep even through the pain.</p><p>The second week is….only <em>slightly</em> better. Ray and Allison finally allow him to start walking around a little bit, which he does. It’s so much more exhausting than walking has any right to be, and it turns out he gets more headaches when he’s exhausted. Fun.</p><p>However, by the third week he notices that the headaches <em>are</em> declining a little in intensity. Now they have him just wishing for unconsciousness rather than death.</p><p>So hey. Progress.</p><p>Klaus finds himself biting his tongue to hold back from snapping at Allison and Ray a lot. And Ben, sure, but Ben doesn’t have the authority to throw him out of the house. Not that Klaus thinks Allison and Ray are looking to kick him out at the first excuse, not at all, but….everyone has limits. Those limits are probably <em>substantially</em> higher right now, of course - it’s not like he’s crashing with some hookup he can’t remember the name of. Allison is his sister (which actually means something nowadays), and he literally saved Ray’s life. But Klaus knows himself. He’s annoying and irritating and that’s only the default. When he really gets in a snit he’s fucking infuriating. And getting crippled for no reason? Kinda has him in a snit.</p><p>He has it <em>good,</em> here. Klaus knows very well how he’d fare with an injury like this on the streets. Most likely, no one would have helped him when he got shot in the first place, and whatever corrupt asshole killed him would’ve dumped him in the river and never given him a second thought. He doubts his siblings would’ve noticed, either.</p><p>(Although, sometimes, Klaus remembers the incident he and Ben don’t talk about. Waking up in that club, blood matted in his hair, looking at Ben’s wide eyes, stumbling home with the phantom sensation of shaving cream and a straight razor on his skin, wielded by Dad’s room-temperature hands. He wonders if a bullet would <em>really</em> kill him.)</p><p>Even if, against all odds, Klaus survived the wound, he wouldn’t have been given a safe place to rest and recover. He’d have been thrown out of the hospital the moment they realized he couldn’t pay the bills, because heaven forfend his father the <em>billionaire</em> spare a few thousand to fix up his junkie whore of a son.</p><p>And he’d still be that. A junkie and a whore, that is. Even now, with over two years of sobriety under his belt, the urge for painkillers is <em>so fucking strong.</em> He had to ask Allison to hide the contents of the medicine cabinet, and then stop himself from screaming at her for it every day (every hour) afterwards. Klaus <em>knows</em> what he’d be like if he were still an addict when he got shot. He’d <em>never</em> get clean. And, well. He’s already dipped into prostitution more than a few times already to fund his addictions, and you don’t need to walk or stand for sex. Of course, that kind of life is also a <em>lot</em> harder on the disabled, so he doubts he would’ve lasted long.</p><p>(Again, not taking into account his possible immortality.)</p><p>He….doubts his siblings would have cared about his leg pre-apocalypse. If they ever even heard about it in the first place, which would be the most likely course of events. <em>Maybe</em> Diego would’ve found out, and <em>maybe</em> he’d have allowed Klaus to crash at his place, but Klaus burned through Diego’s goodwill years ago. It wouldn’t have lasted. And everyone else?</p><p>Pff. Don’t make him laugh.</p><p>Klaus finds himself thinking about that scenario again, nearly a month after coming back from the hospital. He can shuffle around the ground floor without straining himself too much by now, although stairs are still too much trouble to justify moving back into the basement. His goddamned head still won’t let him read or watch TV, but he can usually knit for a while if he’s careful. That’s nice. He wouldn’t be able to knit if he was out on the streets.</p><p>Allison comes into the room with a bowl, and smiles at him. “Mac and cheese,” she says, handing it over to him. “Made it myself.”</p><p>“Woo, look at you,” Klaus says, levering himself into a sitting position. He admires the bowl. “Exquisite. You should go on Master Chef. You’d win it.”</p><p>“Not a thing yet,” Allison says, settling down next to him.</p><p>“You should <em>invent</em> Master Chef, and then go on it and win it.” Klaus says. He starts eating. It’s probably not cooking-show-worthy, actually, but it’s better than 90% of the things Klaus has eaten in his life, so he makes appreciative noises as he goes.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m that good, and I question your taste if you think I am,” Allison says, although she looks pleased.</p><p>“You’re getting better, though,” Klaus says between bites. “That’s a definite fact.”</p><p>Allison smiles. That’s - nice. He likes making her smile.</p><p>“Is Ben around?” Allison asks.</p><p>“Nah,” Klaus says. “He’s off getting that info from whoever it was.”</p><p>It’s actually very soothing, that. Ben hasn’t been able to spend as much time spying for the SJCC as before, but he still does it. And that makes Klaus relax a whole fucking lot, because it makes him useful and advantageous to have around. Raises the limits on how much he can push, although he still does his best to restrain himself. Even if Allison knows it’s not <em>really</em> Klaus doing the work here, he’s still necessary for the whole process.</p><p>“Where’s Ray?” Klaus asks her.</p><p>“Phone call with Miles,” Allison says, her face turning fond. “Discussing the next meeting, I’m pretty sure. Even though Miles is technically supposed to be the one running it.”</p><p>Klaus snorts. “If he really believes that, I have a bridge I’d like to sell him.”</p><p>“Oh no, he knows who’s in charge,” Allison says with a grin. “You could probably sell Ray that bridge, though.”</p><p>“I’ll keep it in mind,” Klaus says. He scoops up the last bit of mac and cheese and lets out a satisfied sigh.</p><p>Allison takes the bowl and puts it on the coffee table. They both lean back on the couch.</p><p>“How’s your scarf coming?” Allison asks, nodding at the lump of yarn that’s also on the table.</p><p>“Slowly,” Klaus grumps. “At this pace I’ll have it done the winter <em>after</em> next.”</p><p>“At least Ray will have enough time to put together the lesson plan on making mittens, then,” Allison laughs.</p><p>Klaus blinks. He looks at her. “You think we’ll still be here by then?”</p><p>Allison goes still, and she looks startled. “I -”</p><p>She cuts herself off. He watches her face as it melts from realization to quiet thoughtfulness.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Allison says, staring off into the distance. “I wasn’t really thinking. I mean….there’s every chance Five or anyone else still won’t have arrived by then. We’d still be in this time period. But….still with Ray? I don’t know.”</p><p>Klaus reaches up and feels the familiar metal of Dave’s dog tags against his chest. “You might want to start thinking about it,” he says quietly. “You love him, right?”</p><p>Allison is silent for a minute.</p><p>“I do,” she says, just as quietly.</p><p>He closes his eyes and tries to remember Dave’s face again. Every last detail, every crease in his face and every sparkle in his eye and every curl in his hair. The way he smiled when he saw Klaus, the only one to ever do so out of genuine happiness. The way he managed to look like an angel even when he was scuffed up in army fatigues. The way he touched Klaus, like he wasn’t trashy and slutty and broken but something beautiful and wonderful and deserving. Klaus tries to remember that.</p><p>But it’s been over two years since he’s seen even a picture of Dave, and the image grows blurrier with every passing day.</p><p>“You should take all the happiness you can get, then” Klaus says. He tries to say it evenly, but his voice breaks in the middle. Stupid fucking voice.</p><p>Then Allison is wrapping her arms around him and he falls against her and - he tries not to cry too much. People generally don’t appreciate being cried on. But he shakes a lot, and it takes some time to remember how to breathe exactly.</p><p>He notices some of the shaking is Allison’s after a while, and she’s making noises that probably mean she’s crying some as well. Oh. He probably made her think about Claire. That was dumb of him. He pats her back a few times and wishes -</p><p>Well. He wishes a lot of things. But he doubts they’ll ever come true.</p><p>They separate after a while, and Allison wipes the tears from her eyes. Klaus has fewer than hers, although he winces a little at seeing the wet spot he made on her shirt.</p><p>“I think,” Allison says. She swallows, and continues in a steadier tone, “I think if - if they haven’t all arrived by then….until they <em>do</em> arrive, I think I want to be with Ray.”</p><p>“And me and Ben haunting the basement, I’d hope,” Klaus says with a wan smile, although it’s not much of a joke.</p><p>“Well,” Allison says, swallowing again and smiling a little. “I mean, I don’t know if you’ll be able to <em>stay</em> in the basement….”</p><p>“What?” Klaus says, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. “I can’t - I have to leave? But -” <em>But haven’t I been good?</em></p><p>Allison looks confused for a second, before shock washes over her face. “Oh my god, no, no, that’s not - I meant with you leg, Klaus, we don’t know if you’ll heal enough for the stairs to be okay on a regular basis. We’re not going to <em>kick you out,</em> we’d <em>never</em> do that, why would you think -”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you?” Klaus says before he can think. He gives a shaky laugh. “I mean. I’m a lot to deal with.”</p><p>Except she’s not agreeing with that even though they both know it’s true. Instead she’s looking at him in sheer, unmitigated horror, for some reason. Klaus shifts uncomfortably.</p><p>“I - do you really think that?” Allison asks. She looks deeply, deeply shaken. “Do you really think there’s <em>anything</em> that could make us kick you out?”</p><p>Klaus can’t help but roll his eyes at that. “Everyone has limits, Allison.”</p><p>“You’re my <em>brother,</em>” she says, standing up suddenly. “Klaus, you - I wouldn’t just <em>abandon you to the streets,</em> god!”</p><p>“You already did.”</p><p>Klaus regrets the words as soon as he says them. Allison goes utterly still, and the tension in the air skyrockets. He tenses, because - well, people don’t like being called out on things, even if they’re true. Especially if they’re true.</p><p>The silence stretches out. Klaus doesn’t dare breathe.</p><p>Slowly, glacially, Allison sits back down on the couch. She stares at her hands.</p><p>“....You’re right.”</p><p>Klaus blinks. “What?”</p><p>“You’re right,” Allison says. She swallows, and looks at him. “We all - we all failed you. But I’m the one who had the most resources to help you, and I - didn’t. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“What,” Klaus says. He shakes his head. “No, Allison, I was exaggerating. You paid for all my rehab and shit, remember?”</p><p>“We both know that never helped you, Klaus,” Allison says. “We always knew that.”</p><p>“I mean….” Klaus trails off, because he can’t really refute that. So he shrugs. “I guess. But seriously, I never expected anything from you. You know that, right?”</p><p>“I think that makes it worse, actually.” Allison wipes at her eyes again.</p><p>“Oh.” Klaus tries to figure out some other way to reassure her. This is way trickier than it has any right to be.</p><p>“Hey,” Allison says, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He blinks at it, then at her. She looks him straight in the eye. “I’m not the person I was a year ago. In fact, I kind of hate her. She had <em>no idea</em> that other people had hardships that were just as real as hers, and often a lot worse. She thought good intentions could substitute for building real trust and love, without compromising or apologizing for anything she’d done. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to be better.”</p><p>“You are,” Klaus says quietly.</p><p>“I’m trying,” Allison says. She sounds tired. “I don’t think I’m all the way there yet. Maybe I never will be. But I’m enough of a grown-up now to realize that I’ve been a pretty shitty sister to - everyone, really, but you most of all. So. I’m trying to be better. And that means whenever I have a roof over my head, you do too.”</p><p>Klaus opens his mouth. Closes it. Swallows. He forces out a chuckle. “Careful, there, you might just regret that vow.”</p><p>“Did you?”</p><p>The words hit like a blow, skating around the week they rarely talk about. Allison’s eyes are dark and heavy as she stares at him, unblinking.</p><p>He pauses, and slowly shakes his head.</p><p>“I won’t either,” she says. Her tone doesn’t allow for doubt.</p><p>“....Okay,” he says.</p><p>Allison smiles. “Okay.”</p><p>Klaus takes a deep breath, and Allison picks up his bowl to take into the kitchen. She smiles at him, and he smiles back, and they both politely pretend he’s not crying.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>TW: all those bad things about Klaus' time on the streets, chronic pain/injury, fear of abandonment, insecurity, rock-bottom self-esteem, internalized ableism/ableist language</p><p>This child needs a HUG.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! So, quick note. A commentor mentioned last chapter that they were upset with how I portrayed Klaus' disability, and with how he thought about it. I had forgotten to add the 'internalized ableism' tag when I posted, so that was on me, I'm really sorry. Just to be clear: I absolutely do not view Klaus' disability as life-ruining or anything of the sort. Klaus, however, has had zero self-esteem and support system for his entire life and would have a much more difficult time accepting this. I hope that makes things clear, thank you for listening!</p>
<p>Trigger warnings: mention of period-typical bullshit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s a slight shift in Klaus’ demeanor, about a month after he comes back from the hospital. Ray knew Klaus was being reserved compared to normal, of course (it wasn’t hard to notice), but he just thought that was a result of adjusting to the new reality he had to wake up to now.  It was understandable. Anyone would need to take plenty of time to deal with the aftereffects of such an unjustified and damaging attack.</p>
<p>But then one day Klaus is acting subtly different - he’s more outspoken, more relaxed, and actually expresses some of his negative emotions instead of bottling them all up. Ray was wondering when he’d get around to that.</p>
<p>It’s a little startling all the same. As much as Ray was expecting there to be some bumps in the road of recovery, such a sudden change is fairly confusing. It makes Ray wonder if he missed something, because it’s not until after the change that he realizes how tense Klaus was before.</p>
<p>He asks Allison about it, and she’s also startled - not, however, that Klaus has changed. But that Ray has noticed.</p>
<p>“Of course I noticed,” Ray says, a little stung. “I care about him too, you know.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Allison says, her face softening. “I know, and - thank you for that.” She takes a deep breath. “We - he and I talked about something that was bothering him. It’s pretty private, so I won’t give details, but….I didn’t notice how much it was bothering him, and he just thought it went without saying. So we talked, and got it cleared up, and things are - better, now. Not perfect, but better.”</p>
<p>Ray nods slowly. “....Okay. I won’t ask. But is there anything I can do to help?”</p>
<p>Allison leans forward and kisses him on the cheek. She smiles. “Just keep caring about him.”</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>After that slightly confusing interlude, the three of them settle into something of a routine. Ray divides his work evenly between the SJCC and home, though as the weeks pass he has more free time to devote to the cause. This is because Klaus gets more and more capable on his own, something that’s gratifying to see. Once he can stand on his leg for long enough, he starts helping out in the kitchen, mostly because his headaches still won’t let him do much <em>else.</em> Allison spends more time with Klaus than she did before, but she remains active in the SJCC, and Ray always enjoys having her help out.</p>
<p>Klaus is active in the cause too - in fact, he never fully stopped. Ray still <em>boggles</em> at the sheer amount of information Klaus has access to, the ridiculous number of favors and ‘friends’ he must have helping him out. It’s honestly a little absurd when he can just whip out a summary of a confidential meeting between the mayor and the chief of police like it’s nothing. Ray can never catch Klaus using the telephone, but he must be on it every time Ray’s back is turned to be capable of keeping up with so much information.</p>
<p>Ray respects his friend’s secrets, and the confidential identities of who-all are giving him this information. But damn it all, he can <em>wonder,</em> can’t he? If Klaus doesn’t have an answer to one of Ray’s questions about an arbitrary city political figure, he has the answer by the next day, tops. Ray is pretty sure Klaus is having fun with impressing him, but Ray doesn’t even mind because it <em>is</em> damn impressive.</p>
<p>It makes him speculate - privately, of course - about what exactly Klaus and Allison’s life was <em>like</em> before they came to Odessa’s. They’re cagey about the details, just giving the bare bones of it. Adopted by a rich white man, grew up together (and it wasn’t precisely a happy childhood, from the very few, very sparse hints they’ve dropped), floated in high circles for a time, and then lost it all when pressure was put on Klaus to abandon Allison and he refused. Ray has filled in a few of the holes himself - Allison’s injury almost definitely had something to do with high society finally growing sick of her, and a comment Allison said once implied their fall from grace was accelerated by Klaus sleeping with the wrong(-gendered) person. Interestingly, even though their adopted father sounds like someone they’d both dearly like to punch in the face, as far as they’ve mentioned the man never slighted Allison due to her skin color. She had the same education and treatment as Klaus.</p>
<p>Which is something that intrigues Ray to no end. He likes to think he’d be able to connect with Allison either way, but he can admit that it’s incredibly fun to hold in-depth discussions with her about Shakespeare, Homer, and more. And don’t even get him started on how many languages she can speak. Ray never knew he found that attractive in a woman, but he’s learned quite a lot about himself since Allison has come into his life.</p>
<p>And their relationship just continues to blossom as time goes by. Sure, they have their arguments - what couple doesn’t? There are times when they don’t agree on what to do with the information Klaus collects, or how to guide the SJCC, or exactly how much respect they should have for the law. Allison is a little weird about the strangest things - it’s understandable she’d be alright with violence sometimes, Ray knows very well how unusual he is in that respect and even he has to rein in his temper at the injustice done to people under <em>his</em> protection. But Allison also has some - <em>interesting</em> reactions to most laws, like she has to consciously remind herself that they apply to her and will have consequences if broken. It doesn’t usually come up, but when you have to remind your girlfriend that a certain course of action will probably get someone arrested or killed and she’s <em>surprised</em> about that (and then sheepishly annoyed with herself), even just a couple times, you start to wonder.</p>
<p>But regardless, they manage to make it through every argument they encounter, and come out all the stronger for it. Ray has never been happier.</p>
<p>Especially when Klaus recovers enough to move back into the basement, two months after coming home from the hospital. It’s mid-May now, and Klaus is very vocal about wanting to move back into the coolness of the basement before the summer heat really hits. Ray can’t blame him.</p>
<p>Klaus is recovering, Ray and Allison’s relationship is growing stronger, the SJCC is growing in influence….everything is going pretty damn well, as far as Ray is concerned.</p>
<p>The thing is, he didn’t mean to overhear.</p>
<p>He really didn’t. He knew Allison and Klaus were downstairs together, but that’s pretty unremarkable. He knows the door to the basement doesn’t squeak or groan when it opens, but that’s just good home-keeping. And he knows sound carries, but he’s never really thought much of it. He really did mean to call down and tell them both that dinner is ready after opening the door.</p>
<p>But just as he opens his mouth, he hears Klaus say, “Are you <em>ever</em> going to tell him, Allison?”</p>
<p>Ray pauses. Doorknob in hand, he blinks a little as he looks down into the basement.</p>
<p>Klaus’ mattress isn’t visible from the top of the steps, but it’s off to the side, close enough that Ray hears Allison say quietly, with clear pain in her voice, “How can I? How can I just - tell him something like that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Klaus says, just as quietly. “But - Allison, even if we don’t end up telling him about, well, everything else….Ray deserves to know about Claire.”</p>
<p>Claire? Who is Claire? Ray swallows, because - god, he knows Allison has secrets. He’s made his peace with that, for the most part. He hopes that once they’re together for longer, she’ll be comfortable with opening up about them, but even if she doesn’t he knows he’s still damn lucky to have her in his life.</p>
<p>Klaus knows a hell of a lot about secrets, though. If he’s saying Ray deserves to know this one….</p>
<p>Allison is silent.</p>
<p>“You know I’m right,” Klaus says. He doesn’t sound playful or gloating, the way he usually sounds when he says things like that. Instead he just sounds matter-of-fact, and a little sad. “You love him, you said. You two are serious by now. You said you could see yourself - becoming more serious. If you really think that, he should know about her.”</p>
<p>“...I know,” Allison whispers. “I just….it <em>hurts.</em>”</p>
<p>“I know,” Klaus says. There’s pain in his voice now as well. “I know.”</p>
<p>Silently, Ray closes the door. He retreats back to the living room, and stares blankly at the wall.</p>
<p>So….Allison is hiding something. Well, he knew that, but she’s hiding something that both she and Klaus agree he should know. Something big, from the sound of it. About this ‘Claire’ person.</p>
<p>He could be upset she hasn’t told him, but he finds he can’t bring himself to be. The sheer <em>pain</em> in her voice….</p>
<p>If she can ever bring herself to tell him, he knows it’s going to be one of the bravest acts he’ll ever see.</p>
<p>There’s also the other thing Klaus mentioned, too. That Allison said she could see herself <em>‘becoming more serious’</em> with him.</p>
<p>Ray doesn’t know how to feel about that, honestly. Not when he’s just been confronted with it, so suddenly like this. He does love Allison, there’s no doubt about that. But they’ve only been dating for seven months or so. He knows people who have gotten married sooner than that, but he’s never pictured himself as a married man.</p>
<p>Granted, he never pictured himself in a serious, steady relationship, either. He always thought he was too devoted to the cause to divert any attention toward any one woman. Flings, sure, he’s had a few, but he never pictured himself seven months in love, living with a woman who makes him smile every time he sees her. And even if he <em>had</em> pictured that, he <em>never</em> would have also pictured living with her white brother who’s become his best informant and one of his closest friends.</p>
<p>Just goes to show you never can guess what life will throw at you.</p>
<p>Maybe he <em>can</em> picture himself married to Allison, though. Ray rolls it around in his mind, tries imagining a wedding, himself in a suit and Allison in a wedding dress (and probably Klaus in a bridesmaid one, but he tries to focus on the important details). He imagines looking at Allison and saying <em>“I do,”</em> and calling her his wife. Imagines her taking his name - <em>Allison Chestnut</em> - and maybe….maybe, some years down the line, a smaller Chestnut or two.</p>
<p>Ray swallows, and looks down at his hands. He rubs a thumb down his left ring finger, currently bare. He imagines a weight there, heavy and full of love.</p>
<p>Does he want that? Yes. Yes he does. The more important question is - does he want that with Allison?</p>
<p>He needs to think on that for a while longer. But….he thinks he might already know the answer.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>He thinks about it, on and off for the next several weeks. Between the things that actually demand his attention, although this one does seem to get pretty prominent in his thoughts.</p>
<p>Does he want to marry Allison?</p>
<p>It would be foolish of him not to try and think of the downsides. For one, he still doesn’t actually know all that much about her past, and one of the things he does know is that she’s hiding some fairly important information about herself from him. For another, however strong their relationship is now, they’ve still only been dating for seven months. Things could go sour in their second year of being together, or their third or fourth. Maybe there are things about her he hasn’t run into yet that would just be too much of a strain on them (or about him that <em>she</em> hasn’t run into yet, to be fair).</p>
<p>And yet.</p>
<p>Trying to think of the possible downsides always brings him around to thinking of the opposite. The possible upsides. Or, really, the real and tangible upsides he can say for certain that marriage to Allison would bring.</p>
<p>The picture his mind painted when he first thought about it still beckons. Allison in a white dress, smiling as she says “I do,” the words “My wife, Allison Chestnut,” rolling off his tongue when introducing her. Cooking meals together, sleeping together, working together, laughing together, struggling together, sharing their life together. Really, doing everything they’re doing now, but with an added underlying sense of <em>permanency.</em></p>
<p>And if he’s really thinking this whole thing through, he can’t forget about Klaus either. Klaus becoming his brother-in-law is….a pretty pleasant thought, actually. Even if Ray didn’t owe him his life, he <em>likes</em> Klaus. The man is funny and perceptive and kind and deceptively clever. A lot of men would probably find living with their brother-in-law intrusive, and Ray would usually agree with that, but Klaus is his friend first and foremost. He’ll always be welcome under Ray’s roof.</p>
<p>Ray lets out a breath. He’s sitting in his bedroom - his and Allison’s bedroom. He has a small box on his lap.</p>
<p>It’s not an impressive box, really. Just plain and serviceable. It’s what’s inside that’s precious.</p>
<p>Running his fingers over the lid, Ray hesitates for a moment.</p>
<p>Then he opens it.</p>
<p>Inside is all the jewellery he inherited from his grandparents. He’s an only child of two only children, so he has a number of family heirlooms in his keeping. They aren’t all that flashy, of course, seeing as his family has struggled for several generations to help him achieve his thoroughly middle-class life that’s still sharply limited in how far he can advance. There aren’t many pieces in the box.</p>
<p>Two of them, however, are rings, and he lifts them out of the box.</p>
<p>His mother’s grandparents were buried with their wedding rings, and his mother followed suit. Ray isn’t even sure his father is still alive, and he’s not sure he’d care all that much if he isn’t, but he remembers his paternal grandparents fondly. They passed their wedding rings down to Ray, and he still remembers the way his grandmother pressed them into his hand and gave him a wink.</p>
<p>“For when you find the right one,” she said to him.</p>
<p>Ray thinks….he thinks he might have found her.</p>
<p>He holds the two rings in his hand, looking at the way they glint in the sunlight filtering in through the curtains. They aren’t very fancy. No diamonds or other jewels. But they’re beautiful in their own way, two matching golden bands, slim and lovely.</p>
<p>He tries imagining kneeling down and holding out his grandmother’s ring to Allison, and the image comes - easily. So easily. He can <em>see</em> the look in her eyes, can feel the breath steal away from his lungs as he waits for an answer. He can hear what her answer would be.</p>
<p>Ray takes a long, slow breath.</p>
<p>Carefully, he places the rings back in the box and closes it.</p>
<p>Staring at the opposite wall, he nods to himself.</p>
<p>“July,” he says aloud, even though there’s no one there to hear him. His voice is firm, though, and hearing it makes it feel <em>real,</em> makes it click into place and tell him <em>yes, yes, yes.</em> “I’m going to propose by July.”</p>
<p>For a moment there’s a faint chill in the air, as if the words are settling over him, although when Ray glances around he can’t tell where the draft came from. He looks back down at the box.</p>
<p>“July,” he repeats, and smiles.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: grief, mentions of loss, mention of police brutality, mention of the stuff that happened to Klaus on the streets</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We need to talk,” Ben says.</p>
<p>“I admit nothing and it wasn’t my fault and you have no proof,” Klaus says.</p>
<p>Ben gives his best unimpressed look. Sadly, Klaus knows every one of Ben’s looks and has built up an immunity to most of them, so he doesn’t crack. Ben sighs and makes a mental note to poke around later to find whatever it is Klaus is hiding before it explodes (possibly literally). “No, it’s about Ray.”</p>
<p>“Ray?” Klaus says, straightening a little on his mattress. “Is he okay?”</p>
<p>“He’s fine,” Ben shakes his head. “Better than fine, actually. He’s doing great, and so is his relationship with Allison. They’re doing <em>really</em> great.”</p>
<p>“O….kay?” Klaus says. “Wait, how do you know that? Have you been peeping on them? That’s our <em>sister,</em> oh my god!”</p>
<p>“What? Oh my god, <em>no,</em>” Ben says, stepping back in horror. “Jesus Christ, Klaus. I know because he’s thinking of <em>proposing.</em>”</p>
<p>Klaus’ mouth is hanging open, probably because he was going to come up with another <em>completely inappropriate</em> comment he thought was funny, but as soon as Ben’s words registered he forgot whatever he was going to say. Instead, he just manages a stunned, “Ehn?”</p>
<p>“Ray. Is thinking of proposing,” Ben says. “Actually, he’s already decided to propose. It’s going to happen by the end of the month.”</p>
<p>For a moment - for one brief, shining moment - Klaus is stunned speechless. Ben can’t remember the last time that happened, and he’s sure it won’t happen again for a <em>while,</em> so he basks in the silence while he can.</p>
<p>Then Klaus makes a squawking noise and falls over. Which is particularly impressive, considering he was already mostly horizontal anyways. At least he’s already on a mattress.</p>
<p>“What!” Klaus says.</p>
<p>Ben crosses his arms. “You heard me. Ray is going to propose by the end of the month.”</p>
<p>“I - but - <em>why?</em>” Klaus says, gingerly pushing himself upright again. “They’ve only been dating for, like, a couple months!”</p>
<p>“It’s been almost eight,” Ben points out.</p>
<p>Klaus flaps a hand. “Whatever. Why is Ray thinking about <em>proposing?</em>”</p>
<p>“Well, I assume because he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and believes that’s an actual option available to them,” Ben says.</p>
<p>His brother pauses. “....Oh. Right.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ben says with a sigh, running a hand down his face. “So - what are we going to do?”</p>
<p>Klaus sobers (which are two words Ben never thought he’d say), and looks pensive for a minute.</p>
<p>“....I think,” Klaus says slowly. “We should do something very, very radical.”</p>
<p><em>Oh no,</em> Ben thinks. Out loud, he says, with an <em>extremely justified</em> amount of trepidation, “And that is?”</p>
<p>“I think,” Klaus says. “We should <em>talk to each other.</em>”</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Ben is still pretty sure this is a bad idea.</p>
<p>“She won’t thank you for telling her,” Ben warns.</p>
<p>“No shit,” Klaus says. “But it has to be done.”</p>
<p>With that, he squares his shoulders and walks (well, limps) into Allison and Ray’s bedroom, the look of a condemned man braving the walk to the gallows on his face. Ben follows him, once again questioning why he always ends up going along with Klaus’ plans. It must be a kind of Stockholm Syndrome.</p>
<p>The rest of their siblings had better show up soon. Ben checks the alley every night, but maybe he should start checking twice a day? There’s no reason that <em>wouldn’t</em> speed up their arrival.</p>
<p>Ray is out buying groceries, which leaves the three of them alone in the house. Allison just got back from work, and she’s lying down on the bed with her feet propped up, idly paging through a book. She looks up when Klaus comes in through the half-open door.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Klaus says. “Could you spare a minute for your favorite brother?”</p>
<p>“Screw you,” Ben says absently.</p>
<p>“Oh, Ben’s here?” Allison says, a smile tugging at her mouth.</p>
<p>Klaus gasps. “Betrayal!”</p>
<p>“Ha,” Ben says, grinning.</p>
<p>Then he sobers, and glances towards the drawer where Ray put away the jewellery box. Was that really only yesterday? It feels like such a long time ago - but then again, it feels like hardly any time at all since they were reunited with Allison at all, much less since she started dating Ray.</p>
<p>So much has happened then. Sheltering Allison, the disastrous consequences <em>that</em> had, getting thrown out, finding their unlikely salvation in Odessa, falling in with Ray and the SJCC, starting their wildly lucrative spying missions, moving in with Ray, Klaus getting shot, and now….now this.</p>
<p>It says something that this feels like it’s among one of their toughest challenges yet.</p>
<p>Ben likes Ray, as much as you can like someone you’ve never spoken to and who doesn’t know you exist. He treats Allison and Klaus with respect, so that’s quite a few points in his favor. He has excellent taste in literature, so that’s another point. He does more good in the world than the entire Umbrella Academy ever did whenever they went out in those stupid uniforms and killed people, so there’s that too.</p>
<p>And he saved Klaus’ life, which speaks for itself.</p>
<p>Honestly, under any other circumstances, Ben would be completely onboard with his intent to propose. Allison couldn’t find a better guy in all of space-time, as far as he’s concerned.</p>
<p>But things aren’t that simple. They never are, with this family.</p>
<p>Allison rearranges herself on the bed so that Klaus can sit down. “What’s this about?” she asks.</p>
<p>Klaus sits, and Ben can see the minute strain in his shoulders relax. He sets his cane lengthwise across his lap, and Ben feels a pang.</p>
<p>He knows it’s not his fault that Klaus was shot, of course. The blame for that lies solely with that fuckhead of a cop. But that doesn’t prevent Ben from wishing every day that he’d <em>been there,</em> because he’s been looking out for Klaus for well over a decade now and it’s not like Klaus has many resources to defend himself with. Their childhood training left some residual knowledge, but Klaus certainly hasn’t kept himself in fighting shape and Ben would be surprised if his brother remembered a tenth of their combat lessons. There are times when Klaus has a silver tongue, but most of the time his mouth just gets him into more trouble. And his other methods of conflict resolution tend to be….less than savory.</p>
<p>Klaus’ powers are the only real edge he has, and even then that tends to be pretty damned detrimental to his psyche. He’s gotten so much better with them, though, to the point where Ben can do what he’s always wanted and <em>actually protect him</em> (even, or especially, when it’s from himself). Ben never thought he’d get to do that, always thought he’d have to helplessly watch his brother die one day, and even if it turns out corporeality got him press-ganged into a vaguely demeaning scam plot he’s still so fucking happy he can interact with the world again. He can talk to people, he can touch things, and god, he doesn’t have to pray over and over again to not see his brother die <strike>again</strike>.</p>
<p>Which. Well. He got his wish, at least. He didn’t have to <em>see</em> it. Because he wasn’t - he wasn’t there.</p>
<p>But. That’s. That’s in the past, and not relevant to the conversation they’re about to dive into right now. Ben can mope about that later. Right now, he focuses on Klaus as he says, “Well, I wanted to ask you a question.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Allison says, furrowing her brow a little.</p>
<p>“Do you….” Klaus trails off. “You said, a while ago, that you could see yourself becoming more serious with Ray. How serious?”</p>
<p>Allison is quiet for a moment.</p>
<p>“Why do you ask?” she says.</p>
<p>“Just - answer? Please?” Klaus bites his lip.</p>
<p>Ben sighs, and hops up to sit on the dresser. He can almost feel the wood underneath him, but there’s no sense of his weight settling onto it. He vaguely wonders if he wants to be visible for this conversation, before quickly deciding that no, he doesn’t. He never did get the hang of confrontation before he died, and since 99% of his social interactions afterwards were with <em>Klaus,</em> he suspects his calibration may be off. Already, he’s caused a few missteps with Allison when he treated her how he would Klaus. Only small ones, so far, but. Probably best to <em>not</em> accidentally do that now, when the topic of discussion is so emotionally fraught.</p>
<p>“I love him,” Allison says quietly, after a few seconds. “I - I really do. If he were willing to come back to 2019 with us, or if it weren’t for Claire….”</p>
<p>She trails off, but Klaus completes the words for her. “You’d want to marry him?” he says, gently.</p>
<p>There’s a pause, and then a small, mute nod.</p>
<p>“I know it’s - it sounds kind of silly, considering I’ve known him for less than a year,” she says, discreetly wiping at her eyes.</p>
<p>“No,” Klaus says. “It doesn’t.” He touches Dave’s dog tags.</p>
<p>Allison notices the movement. “Oh,” she says. “Oh, I - right. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s alright,” Klaus says. Ben knows it’s a lie, because he’s learned that Klaus will quite plausibly <em>never</em> be alright when it comes to the topic of Dave. But Allison can’t read him as well as Ben can, so she accepts it and Klaus keeps talking. “But Allison, you want to marry him. You love him. I think….I think you should tell him. We should tell him. About us. About everything.”</p>
<p>“What?” Allison says.</p>
<p>“What?” Ben says.</p>
<p>“What?” Klaus says, looking between them. “Why is that such a shocking proposal?”</p>
<p>“You want to <em>tell</em> him?” Allison says, disbelief clear in her voice. “Why would that <em>ever</em> be a good idea?”</p>
<p>“He’d never believe us,” Ben says firmly.</p>
<p>“...Uh,” Klaus says. “It’s not like he’d have to take it on faith. I think this,” his hands light up blue, and Ben feels the tell-tale tingle of energy spreading through him, feels the dresser creak under his sudden mass, “would be pretty convincing.”</p>
<p>“Okay, sure,” Allison says. “But <em>why</em> would we tell him? I - I’m going to tell him about Claire, soon enough. You’re right, he deserves to know that. But everything else? Klaus, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”</p>
<p>Ben nods. “What she said.”</p>
<p>Klaus looks between the two of them again, expression confused. Then he goes still, and blinks a few times. Realization spreads across his face.</p>
<p>“....Holy shit,” he says, sounding absolutely dumbfounded. “Holy shit, I’m the only person here with any kind of relationship knowledge.”</p>
<p>“....Excuse me?” Allison says. Ben is too busy being dumbfounded. “I’ve been <em>married,</em> if you don’t remember.”</p>
<p>“Any <em>healthy</em> relationship knowledge,” Klaus amends.</p>
<p>Allison flinches.</p>
<p>“Klaus….” Ben says slowly.</p>
<p>“No,” Klaus flaps a hand. “No, no, wait. Both of you sit down and listen. You,” he points at Ben, “have never been in a relationship, ever. You,” he points at Allison, “used rumors to get whatever you wanted whenever you wanted it, and I’m sorry to bring it up but we both know how that ended. <em>Neither of you know how important it is to be open with a partner.</em> I mean, look at how keeping secrets turned out for our family! You think it <em>won’t</em> be as much of a disaster if we stick to that, just changed around to exclude romantic partners?”</p>
<p>“I think it’d be hard to re-enact the <em>apocalypse</em> just by keeping Ray in the dark,” Ben says, although his words don’t have much of a bite because Klaus is….actually making sense, damn it. How does this keep happening? Ben isn't sure he wants to be such a staunch supporter of Klaus' sobriety if he keeps trying to usurp Ben as the sensible one.</p>
<p>“Mm, yeah, that’s not trying to weasel at all,” Klaus says. “Look. I am….<em>really</em> not the smartest or most capable guy in the world. Or even in this family. But in this <em>one</em> category, I’m pretty sure I’m actually the only one who’s ever had success. Dave and I had a strong, loving relationship built on mutual <em>trust</em> and <em>respect,</em> and <em>yes</em> he was usually the one teaching me about all that <em>but I learned it.</em> I fucking know to cultivate that kind of relationship, and I know what can destroy it. The kind of secrets we’re keeping? That <em>you’re</em> keeping, Allison? Those destroy it.”</p>
<p>Allison is silent.</p>
<p>“...So you told Dave?” Ben says. He’s not sure how he’s feeling at the moment. Subdued? Because yeah, he <em>doesn’t</em> have any experience in this area, and he’s never really angsted about it all that much. No more than everything else he lost when he died, anyways.</p>
<p>Now, though….</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Klaus says, deflating a bit. “Yeah, I told him. It was a surprise when he actually, you know, <em>believed</em> me, but I did. It was a lot for him to take, and he needed some time to adjust, but he did. And he never loved me any less.”</p>
<p>“He sounds wonderful,” Allison says softly.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Klaus says. There’s a faint catch in his voice, and he grasps his tags again, but he shakes his head after a couple seconds and looks at Allison. “And I’m pretty sure it won’t be any different with Ray. He loves you, Allison, and he’ll still love you after he finds out, but that also means the longer you go without telling him the more betrayed he’s going to feel. Don’t let that happen.”</p>
<p>They sit in silence for a while. Several minutes. At some point Klaus stops channeling energy into Ben and he goes incorporeal again. He sighs.</p>
<p>“....Alright,” Allison says at last, her voice small. “Alright. I’ll tell him.”</p>
<p>“We’ll tell him,” Klaus says, reaching out to take her hand. He glances at Ben. “All of us. You don’t have to do it alone.”</p>
<p>Allison smiles. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Here is how it goes, in the end:</p>
<p>Allison and Klaus sit Ray down, having surreptitiously cleared his schedule and ensuring they won’t be interrupted for several hours. Ben hovers nearby as they ask Ray to please humor them, please, just for a little bit, because what they’re about to say sounds <em>incredibly</em> insane but they want him to know.</p>
<p>Ray says of course, because he’s a nice guy like that.</p>
<p>So then Allison (mostly Allison, but Klaus sometimes steps in when her voice starts getting strained) explains the story of the Umbrella Academy. How one day, several women around the world fell spontaneously pregnant and gave birth to babies they certainly hadn’t been carrying the day before. How Reginald Hargreeves (yes, that Reginald Hargreeves) adopted them out of curiosity. How they eventually began exhibiting strange supernatural powers. How their trauma and dysfunction drove them apart. How they came back together, years later, only for their issues to exacerbate <em>even more</em> and end up causing….well, the apocalypse. How one of them managed to facilitate their escape right before the end of the world, only it wasn’t very <em>precise,</em> and ended up dropping them - so far, anyways - at various points in the sixties.</p>
<p>How they, specifically, were dropped in the sixties.</p>
<p>Ray listens with….quite a lot of bemusement, which is fair enough. To his credit, he doesn’t actually interrupt them, even when his face betrays that he’s….well, <em>skeptical</em> would be understating it a bit.</p>
<p>“I know it sounds crazy,” Allison says when she finishes.</p>
<p>“Well….” Ray says.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Allison sighs. “But we can prove it.”</p>
<p>“How so?”</p>
<p>“Oh, that would be me,” Klaus says, lazily waving a hand in the air. “The aforementioned powers. Allison - doesn’t like to use hers, they make her a little,” he circles his finger around his ear, “but me, well, I’m a regular sideshow act.”</p>
<p>Allison looks resigned to his description of her powers. Ray glances between them before focusing on Klaus. “Okay,” he says. “So. Your - powers. What are they?”</p>
<p>The corner of Klaus’ mouth tugs upward. “I’m sure you’ve wondered how I’ve been getting all of that <em>sensitive information,</em>” he says.</p>
<p>Ray pauses. “...I have.”</p>
<p>Ben comes over to stand by Klaus’ chair, feeling a low buzz of excitement under his incorporeal skin. God, he’s - he’s <em>nervous,</em> he realizes. Why is he nervous? He wasn’t even this nervous when Klaus tried to tell their siblings about him!</p>
<p>Although he <em>was</em> experiencing several other, stronger, emotions during those (multiple) attempts. So. Maybe nervousness is an improvement.</p>
<p>“Well, you see, Ray,” Klaus says. “Something we didn’t really mention during storytime is that one of our siblings died when we were teenagers.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Ray says. He looks sincere about it, too. Ben’s lip briefly twitches upwards.</p>
<p>Yeah, Ray is a good guy.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well,” Klaus says. “You don’t have to be too sad about it. Because my power? It lets me see ghosts. So from my perspective, he’s never left. In fact, he dropped down into the sixties with me. And, well. He’s been here the whole time.”</p>
<p>“....Ghosts,” Ray says. His face could have ‘SKEPTICISM’ painted on it and it wouldn’t be any clearer.</p>
<p>But Klaus just grins.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he says. “Ghosts.”</p>
<p>And then he lights up his hands, and Ben becomes visible.</p>
<p>Naturally, things become <em>very</em> exciting for the next while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And there we go! Ray finally knows! You have no idea how much I wanted to throw a wrench in all their plans to break it to him gently, but I decided to be nice.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings at end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So.</p>
<p>Apparently, Ray has been housing <em>two</em> of his girlfriend’s brothers for half a year, not one. The fact that one of them is dead and can’t be perceived by anyone other than Klaus is a small comfort, because there’s still that whole ‘literally <em>dead</em>’ issue, and also Ray has to suddenly wonder just how often he’s had actual privacy in his own home. Then there’s the fact that they’re all time-travellers from the future, who all have various superpowers, and apparently the <em>apocalypse</em> happens in about sixty years or so.</p>
<p>Ray has been having a weird couple of days, is what he’s saying.</p>
<p>But. Allison and Klaus (and Ben) have been completely understanding and patient as Ray readjusts his worldview, which is - well, it’s definitely helpful. Surreal, but helpful.</p>
<p>They’re also a little squirrelly around him, which Ray eventually figures out is due to worrying he’s going to react negatively. Which - he doesn’t <em>think</em> he’ll do? He’s not actually sure what kind of negative reaction they’re worried about. Who knows what kind of reality they’re used to, really. Ray’s having enough difficulty wrapping his head around a secondhand account of the <em>highlights</em> of their lives.</p>
<p>The day after they tell him, he sits down and tries writing out all his questions. It soon becomes a jumbled mess, so he gets (quite a bit) more paper and tries to put it in some sensible order.</p>
<p>He winds up with three main categories: the siblings’ childhoods, powers, and overall lives; the shape of the future they came from, especially how far racial politics have advanced; and the….<em>apocalypse,</em> and subsequent fallout.</p>
<p>It says a lot that Ray isn’t sure which one is the most pressing.</p>
<p>When he goes to Klaus with the papers (Allison offered to take a day off work, but he urged her to go - with Klaus temporarily unable to work, they can’t afford for Allison to miss any either), Klaus looks at them with trepidation.</p>
<p>“I am <em>not</em> the best person to ask about a bunch of this stuff,” he says. “Oh, hey, but you know who is?”</p>
<p>Without waiting for an answer, he coats his hands in that glowing blue (Ray <em>barely</em> manages not to jump this time) and Ben appears. He’s leaning against the wall, idly reading over Klaus’ shoulder, looking like a completely normal guy if you ignore the fact that he's made of blue light.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Ray says.</p>
<p>“Ray,” Ben says with a cautious nod. “Hey.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Ray says, a little helplessly.</p>
<p>So sue him, he doesn’t really know how to react to his girlfriend’s dead brother that’s been haunting his home for the past six months, which everyone but him knew about.</p>
<p>“Ben knows most of this,” Klaus says cheerily. “I’ll just let you discuss amongst yourselves, why don’t I?”</p>
<p>Then, with a cheeky wink to them both, he pulls himself up and limps up the basement stairs as fast as he can. It’s not all that fast, but Ray is a little too distracted to stop him.</p>
<p>Ben bends over and picks up the papers Klaus left behind. He sits down cross-legged on Klaus’ mattress. Flicking through them, he comments, “So, since we’ve been so <em>coincidentally</em> thrown together, I guess this is the part where I confess that I know you’re planning to propose to Allison. Or, you were a couple days ago, I don’t know what your thoughts are now.”</p>
<p>“You - know that?” Ray blinks. “Oh. I guess you saw me with the ring? Does - did you tell her?”</p>
<p>He doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that Ben has been spying on him when he thought he was alone. It feels - <em>invasive.</em> That was supposed to be a private moment, a private resolution, and it turns out it….wasn’t.</p>
<p>Ben looks at his face, and grimaces. He puts down the papers.</p>
<p>“No,” he says. “She doesn’t know. Klaus does, I told him, but she doesn’t. It’s why we - well, Klaus - convinced her to tell you everything. He doesn’t want you going into this with your eyes shut. And if you change your mind now, it’s a lot less - irreparable - than if you were already engaged or married.” Ben pauses. “And….for the record, I’m sorry about the whole spying-on-you thing. There….isn’t much to do when you’re dead. Klaus can’t keep me entertained or corporeal all the time, so I end up wandering a lot.”</p>
<p>Ray presses his lips together. “Well, I’d appreciate if you don’t <em>wander</em> in on me when I’m alone anymore.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Ben says. Ray thinks he <em>might</em> look slightly sheepish, but the whole glowing thing is kind of throwing Ray off-kilter, so he's not sure.</p>
<p>Ray briefly wonders how he’ll be able to enforce it, but realizes that he can’t, actually. He’ll just….have to trust Ben. It’s not a very reassuring realization.</p>
<p>However, Klaus <em>did</em> emphasize that all his insider information is actually thanks to Ben’s efforts, so….</p>
<p>“Why are you helping with the SJCC?” Ray asks.</p>
<p>Ben blinks at the subject change, and tilts his head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I?”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t affect you,” Ray says, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Ben snorts a little. “Nothing affects me, Ray. I’m dead. If Klaus wasn’t who he is, I wouldn’t be able to affect anything either.” He sobers. “But the SJCC affects Allison, and I want her to have a good life, free of all the bullshit of this time. It’s really shitty here, compared to what we’re used to.”</p>
<p>“It is?” Ray says. He leans forward a little. “So it’s - how <em>are</em> things in your time? Do we win the fight?”</p>
<p>Ben leans back against the wall, expression thoughtful. “It’s not completely won,” he says after a moment. “There’s still plenty of racism and fuckheads and all that shit. It’s <em>definitely</em> not perfect, and not real equality, not yet. But - fuck, it’s a hell of a lot better than now. Segregation’s long gone - actually, that gets abolished in a few years, if I’m remembering right. Using the kind of slurs that are common now get you a hell of a lot of backlash in 2019. Black people - and a bunch of other non-white people, too - are getting much more common in positions of power.” He grins, all of a sudden. “For example: Barack Obama.”</p>
<p>“Whos’ that?” Ray asks, feeling a strange mix of - <em>something</em> as he hears about the kind of future they’re destined to have. Better than now, but not won yet. It’s - well, it’s better than he feared, but worse than he hoped.</p>
<p>“The President.”</p>
<p>It hits him like a physical blow. “What?” Ray breathes, eyes wide.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ben says.</p>
<p>Ray breathes in, breathes out, and then settles down in a more comfortable position.</p>
<p>“Tell me everything,” he says.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>After hearing everything Ben knows about racial politics in 2019 - and yes, Ray does get around to asking about his other two categories of questions, but Ben is a bit less forthcoming about them - Ray finds himself sitting in his room once again, looking down at his grandparents’ wedding rings in his hand.</p>
<p>The gulf between him and his houseguests is a lot bigger than he originally thought, as it turns out. A lot of their behaviors make sense now - the information-gathering, the caginess about their past, the missed pop-culture references, even the surprise about laws applying to them. It all makes enormous, blinding amounts of sense. Ben filled in a lot of gaps about that, despite how reluctant he was to expand on personal topics very much.</p>
<p>(“So I have to ask - what’s your power? Can you still use it?” Ray asked.</p>
<p>“I can,” Ben’s face looks suddenly shadowed. Ray isn’t sure how that’s possible, considering he’s literally made of light at the moment. “With Klaus’ help. But I’m not demonstrating it. Not now, and hopefully not ever again. It’s only good for killing people. A lot of people. Indiscriminately.”</p>
<p>Ray wisely drops the subject.)</p>
<p>But all of the revelations and reveals of the past two days have distracted him from thinking about Ben’s first question to him. He never got around to answering that, pulled into asking about the future and the incredibly weird world the Hargreeveses come from - which he <em>did</em> want to know about, very much, but he was also <em>maybe</em> using it as a deflection.</p>
<p>Does he still want to marry Allison?</p>
<p>His gut reaction is to say <em>yes.</em> Because - she hasn’t really changed. He just knows more about her now, sees her in more dimensions. He doubts he knows everything, because he didn’t miss that the mysterious ‘Claire’ wasn’t mentioned even once. But like he said, a <em>lot</em> more things make sense now, and somehow he still suspects the topic of Claire is more painful to her than the literal apocalypse.</p>
<p>So. He needs to think about this, even if he still wants….</p>
<p>He needs to think.</p>
<p>However, he’s barely been thinking for fifteen minutes when there’s a gentle knock on the door. Ray quickly stuffs the rings into his pocket and says, “Come in.”</p>
<p>Klaus wouldn’t knock that softly and Ray doubts Ben knocks at all, despite his promise, so he’s not surprised when Allison comes in. Her shift did end a while ago.</p>
<p>She looks at him with clear uncertainty in her eyes, and however undecided he is, Ray can’t let that stand. So he smiles at her and pats the empty space on the bed next to him. “Hey there. Got a minute? I’d like to talk about yesterday, if you’re up for it.”</p>
<p>She relaxes a little, and comes forward. “I think I should be saying that to you.”</p>
<p>“Mm,” Ray says, as she settles in beside him. “Well, it was - a lot to absorb, that’s true. But I’m really glad you told me. I’d much rather know than - not.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Allison says, looking relieved. “That’s - I’m glad. Klaus had a point that keeping it from you wasn’t sustainable, but it was….terrifying, telling you. I love you, and I didn’t know if it would - drive you away.”</p>
<p>She glances at him uncertainly, and Ray takes her hand.</p>
<p>“You haven’t driven me away,” Ray promises, because even if he decides <em>not</em> to go through with the proposal he can’t imagine reacting badly enough for <em>that</em> to happen. “I promise. I just needed some time to process. And I spent a while talking to Ben earlier, so I’m getting along well there. Long as he stops spying on me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he does that,” Allison says fondly.</p>
<p>Ray hesitates. “He also said,” Ray ventures, taking a risk, “That there are some things you need to tell me yourself. Because I’m pretty sure there are some things you left out.”</p>
<p>Allison goes still. Ray….waits.</p>
<p>Eventually, she slowly breathes out. “Yeah,” she says, her voice a little thick. “Yeah, there are - a few things. Some I’m not - not ready to talk about yet. But there are two things you really deserve to know.”</p>
<p>“Two?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Allsions says. She breathes in deeply. “Two. They sort of - lead into each other. The first is that….well, we’re pretty sure the rest of our siblings are going to show up. We don’t know when, of course. I was dropped into that alley over a year after Klaus and Ben, and we’re pretty sure the only reason they’re together is because Ben is tied to him. So everyone else is probably going to come one by one, completely at random. It could be they all arrive by the end of the year. It could also mean we don’t see them for another twenty years.” She gives a slightly wet laugh. “God, it could even be that one or more of them dropped down decades before <em>us,</em> and gave up hope years before we arrived. I haven’t mentioned that to Klaus and Ben, don’t tell them, please.”</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Ray says. He rubs her back. “Of course not. I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Allison scrubs at her eyes. “Thank you,” she says wetly, and leans on him.</p>
<p>Ray holds her close, and tries to imagine being in a situation like that. God. He can’t. He just can’t.</p>
<p>“Whenever we find them all, though,” Allison says quietly, “We’re going back.”</p>
<p>Ray’s breath stutters. “Back to the future?”</p>
<p>Allison lets out a startled laugh. “I - oh, sorry, that’s - you wouldn’t get that reference. But that was kind of funny.” She sobers after a moment, though, and wipes her eyes again. “But….yeah. I can’t imagine Five won’t want to pull us all back to 2019 when we’re all reunited. No matter how much time we end up spending in the past, it’s not <em>home.</em> We don’t belong here.”</p>
<p>“You could,” Ray says, although the words are weak.</p>
<p>She’s silent for a moment. Then she squeezes his hand. “Well, there’s still the apocalypse to avert. We’d have to go just to take care of that. But even if we <em>could</em> come back afterwards….the others might not have enough to tie them to 2019, if they take to life here well enough. But I do. I have….I have Claire.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Claire.</em>
</p>
<p>“Who’s Claire?” Ray asks quietly, softly.</p>
<p>He’s not sure he needs to ask, in all honesty. Because in the end, ever since he overheard her talking, ever since he heard the sheer pain in her voice, the sheer <em>love</em>….</p>
<p>There’s really only one person it could be.</p>
<p>Allison buries her face in his shoulder, and her breath hitches as she starts crying anew.</p>
<p>“My daughter,” she whispers. “My daughter.”</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>Almost an hour later, Allison finally has (mostly) dry eyes again, and they’re laying on the bed bonelessly, Allison wrapped in his arms, like they’ve just run a marathon together. In a way, Ray thinks, they sort of have.</p>
<p>He knows more about Claire, now. Allison gasped out the story between crying jags, usually starting the whole cycle all over again, but he thinks crying about it was good for her in some way. She must have cried before, with her brothers, but she’s had to hide it from Ray while living in the same house. It couldn’t have been easy.</p>
<p>It’s doubtful that the subject will ever get <em>easier,</em> but Ray hopes that, now that he knows, it might get less <em>painful.</em> Even if just marginally.</p>
<p>After a few more minutes of silence, Allison levers herself up. Ray lets go of her and does the same.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Allison says, a little hoarsely.</p>
<p>“Anytime,” Ray says. “Always.”</p>
<p>Allison draws her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on them, wrapping her arms around her legs. She stares at the wall.</p>
<p>“I wish you could meet her,” Allison says quietly. “I wish - I wish I could have everything, you and her and my family, but I’ve learned by now that I can’t have that. No one can ever really have everything, no matter how many rumors they hear.”</p>
<p>That’s a weird turn of phrase, but sixties slang probably sounds equally weird to her, so he just puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes. “I wish I could meet her too,” Ray says. “Hell, I wish I could come with you. I want to see this world you’re from, so much. But….”</p>
<p>“Your place is here,” Allison murmurs. “Yeah. I know. You’re doing - <em>so</em> much good here, Ray. More good than I ever did.”</p>
<p>He has no idea how to respond to that, so instead he just hugs her. She leans into it, shifting a little. He shifts a little as well.</p>
<p>Which is when his grandparents’ rings fall out of his pocket and bounce onto the bedspread in front of them.</p>
<p>Ray freezes. “Shit.”</p>
<p>“What?” Allison says, looking at the rings. Then she freezes as well. “What.”</p>
<p>Ray curses again and scoops up the rings. “I - didn’t want you to find out like this.”</p>
<p>“Find out….” Allison says, looking at him with wide eyes.</p>
<p>….He sighs, and shifts back to kneel on the bed. He looks down at the rings in his hands.</p>
<p>“I was thinking of proposing,” he says. “I decided to, actually. I was going to do it before the month was out. Apparently Ben saw me with the rings, and told Klaus, and that’s why they were pushing for me to know about - everything.”</p>
<p>Allison sucks in a shaky breath, flicking her eyes between the rings and Ray’s face. <em>“Oh.”</em></p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ray says softly. His fingers curl around the rings.</p>
<p>“I -” Allison says. “I’m….sorry. That I can’t - give that to you. If you asked me, and there weren’t any other considerations, I think….I think I’d say yes.”</p>
<p>There’s a lump in Ray’s throat, and he looks down at his closed hand again. He blinks away tears, and laughs a little. “That helps,” he says. “It really does. I’ll take what I can get.” He blinks again. “Any time spent married to you would be a gift.”</p>
<p>“....Really?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Ray wipes at his eyes. “Of course, Allison.”</p>
<p>She’s silent for a minute, as Ray brings his tear ducts under control again.</p>
<p>“Ray,” she says eventually.</p>
<p>“Hm?” he says, looking at her.</p>
<p>She swallows. “When - when you first asked me out, I wasn’t sure I should go. I thought about turning you down, the night you were coming to get me. I was so sure it was the right thing to do, because I knew it couldn’t last forever. No matter when it happens, I’m going to have to leave.”</p>
<p>“Why did you say yes, then?” Ray asks. In hindsight, he’s a little confused himself.</p>
<p>“Klaus told me to,” she smiles, a little tearfully. “He said - he said a lot of things, but the most important thing he said is that being happy here isn’t a betrayal. Finding happiness here isn’t wrong. And if we do find happiness, we’ll have to leave it behind, but that’s better than - never having it at all.”</p>
<p>“Klaus can be pretty damn smart sometimes,” Ray says.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Allison says. “Yeah, he is. And I think - I think we should listen to him again.”</p>
<p>Ray’s heart is beating hummingbird-fast, for some reason. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean….” Allison falters. She looks at him, and squares her shoulders. “I mean - if you still want to - I think I’d want to - get - married.”</p>
<p>He stares at her.</p>
<p>“I love you,” she says. “I love you, Raymond Chestnut, and if these past eight months have taught me anything it’s that I’d spend the rest of my life with you if I could, but I - I’ll settle for as much of it as possible, if you - if you’ll have me.”</p>
<p>She sucks in a deep breath, as if saying that used up all the air in the room. She looks at him with a desperate expression, begging him to say something.</p>
<p>And what else can he say but, “Yes.”</p>
<p>Her eyes go wide. “What?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Ray repeats, and there’s a light, fluttering sensation in his chest, like a butterfly trapped in his lungs. “Yes, Allison, I’ll marry you, yes.”</p>
<p>Allison stares at him for another heartbeat, before letting out half-laugh, half-sob, and throwing herself at him. He catches her, and breathes in her scent, feels her weight settle against his.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how long we’ll have,” he says into her hair, not even trying to stem his tears. “But I won’t take a single second for granted, I swear.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” she says, muffled in his shoulder but still audible. “Me too, I promise.”</p>
<p>Ray breathes in deep, and keeps crying as he holds Allison - as he holds his <em>fiancee.</em></p>
<p>And even though there’s some invisible clock somewhere counting down how much time they have until he never sees her again, in this moment - this one wonderful, <em>beautiful</em> moment - Ray can’t help but feel like he’s gotten everything he’s ever wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trigger warnings: refernces to canon-typical child soldiering, references to period-typical racism, references to <em>modern</em> racism, brief mention of politics.</p>
<p>Yes I put a warning for politics, yes it needs a warning, no you are not allowed to mention anything relating to Current Events <em>please,</em> I have enough stress in my life.</p>
<p>But anyway! Here is the moment you've all been waiting for! I hope I conveyed the differences in Allison's headspace well enough - it took a lot of buildup to get her in the right frame of mind to accept marriage to Ray when she knows it'll end someday. It's certainly not like canon, where she thought she'd be staying for the rest of her life. But I could never sink the good ship Almond, so obviously I had to find a way.</p>
<p>Also I gave Ray his own little awkward moment with the rings falling out. Who says the Hargreeveses have a monopoly on dumbassery?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warnings: mention of usual period-typical stuff, brief depiction/mention of homelessness, vague mention/discussion of incest.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allison’s first wedding was, to say the least, <em>opulent.</em></p>
<p>She spared no expense, although expense wasn’t actually an issue when she could rumor up a discount on even the priciest trappings. The guest list was in the hundreds. There were cameras and newspapers flocking from all over the country, and she barely even needed to nudge them to come. She was, by that point, both an acclaimed actress and the last of the Umbrella Academy to remain in the public eye (technically, Luther was as well, but Dad sharply limited the Academy’s publicity after everything fell apart). Her wedding was the wedding of the decade.</p>
<p>None of her family came to it.</p>
<p>To be perfectly fair about it, Allison didn’t actually….<em>invite</em> them. She told herself that she wasn’t going to interrupt their (small and ordinary but perfectly alright, if you went for that sort of thing) lives. She didn’t want to drag them halfway across the country for a family reunion when she herself would be more focused on her new husband. She wouldn’t have enough attention to spare for them, and that would just be rude.</p>
<p>She ignored the part where, deep down, she wasn’t sure they’d come even if she did invite them. They hadn’t spoken in years by that point, after all.</p>
<p>But the absence of her family at her first wedding did not detract from the sheer excess she put into it. Custom-made dress with real diamonds sewn on, professional string quartet, the most fashionable cuts and styles for all her bridesmaids and herself, <em>exquisite</em> catering, and a three-month-long honeymoon visiting several of the most luxurious hotels all over the world.</p>
<p>Standing here now, Allison realizes none of that could hold a candle to watching Ray as she starts to walk towards him down the aisle of this shabby little church, watched by a bare handful of people, both of them wearing handed-down apparel.</p>
<p>Allison brushes her hand against the material of her dress, and feels a lump in her throat. She doesn’t take her eyes off Ray, and he doesn’t take his eyes off her as she walks down the aisle in his mother’s wedding dress.</p>
<p>Klaus squeezes her arm imperceptabley, and she doesn’t take her eyes off Ray but she does squeeze back. He looks good in a suit, Klaus does, although he pouted for <em>days</em>  when he was told in no uncertain terms that he can’t wear a dress. Allison loves her brother and wouldn’t mind it in the least, and Ray is extraordinarily open-minded, but everyone else would….probably not react all that well.</p>
<p>Still, though, he loves that he gets to be the one to give her away. Allison loves it too. She didn’t get to have that in her first wedding, because there was <em>literally no way</em> she was inviting Dad, much less allowing him to take part.</p>
<p>Allison then banishes the thought of Dad from her mind, because she’s not going to waste time on anything except being happy, today. They reach the dais, and Klaus shuffles off to the side where, unbeknownst to anyone but him, her, and Ray, Ben is also standing as her second bridesperson.</p>
<p>On Ray’s side, there are a couple of people from the SJCC. There are more of them in the pews, along with most of the girls from Odessa’s and one or two of Ray’s former colleagues from the university. Overall, though, there are just under twenty people, and that’s including the priest.</p>
<p>It’s small, and understated, and quiet. Everything Allison’s first wedding wasn’t.</p>
<p>The only time she’s ever been happier is when she first looked at her daughter’s face.</p>
<p>The organ music stops playing, and a hush falls over everyone.</p>
<p>The priest begins speaking. Allison is sure he’s saying wonderful things, things about love and joy and happiness, but she doesn’t hear a word of it. She just keeps staring at Ray.</p>
<p>He looks so, so happy. Allison hopes her own face is reflecting the same thing.</p>
<p>Then the priest is silent, and Ray takes a breath. Her focus sharpens, locks in on him.</p>
<p>“Allison,” Ray says. He pauses. “Allison. You dropped into my life at a time when I was so sure that all I would ever need was to fight for the cause. I don’t remember the exact moment I fell in love with you, because I think it was always there, that love. I don’t think I could ever know you without loving you. You’re an incredible woman, one I’m so, so lucky to have. And however much time we have together, I’m going to keep the promise I made when I proposed to you, and cherish every second of it.”</p>
<p>Allison is blinking away tears, and she has to swallow several times before she can speak the words she’s been poring over for the last month.</p>
<p>“Ray,” she says. “My life before I met you was filled with things I thought I needed, but I could never get enough of, and I never understood why. But when I met you, I realized what I really wanted. I want - I want you.” She takes a shaky breath. “I’ve actually never been good with words. Not when it really matters. Sometimes I wonder if it was an improvement when they were taken away, because I always said the wrong ones.” <em>I heard a rumor….</em> “But all those months of struggle and recovery were worth it to be standing right here and telling you how much I love you, even if I’m not very good at it. And I plan to tell you every day from now on, for however long we have together.”</p>
<p>Then the priest is saying more, although she doesn’t notice the exact words. All she’s focused on is Ray, looking at her like she’s precious, like she’s wonderful, like she’s incredible and beautiful and perfect.</p>
<p>She isn’t perfect. Not even close. But she’s trying to be better, and that has to count for <em>something.</em></p>
<p>And then she is saying “I do.”</p>
<p>And then she is putting the ring on her finger.</p>
<p>And then she is kissing Ray - kissing her <em>husband.</em></p>
<p>And then she is married.</p>
<p>The rest of the night passes in a whirl of color and laughter, smells and sounds, and if anyone were to ask she would say this wedding feels just as opulent as her first one, except infinitely more satisfying. It’s possible someone does ask, actually, but Allison doesn’t remember anything at all about the rest of the night besides the fact that Ray is there, Ray is looking at her, Ray is her <em>husband.</em></p>
<p>And that’s the only thing that matters.</p>
<p>**********</p>
<p>The next day (after a <em>very</em> pleasant first night as newlyweds), Allison and Ray go out to eat. The restaurant isn’t <em>that</em> upscale, but the food is tasty and the atmosphere is welcoming and everything else besides <em>her husband</em> is fairly low on the totem pole right now.</p>
<p>Ray smiles at her when he catches her looking at him cutting up his pancakes. “Something on your mind, Mrs. Chestnut?” he says.</p>
<p>Allison doesn’t even bother repressing the wide grin that spreads across her face. “I’m just enjoying being here with my husband, that’s all,” she replies.</p>
<p>“Well, your husband sounds like the luckiest damn man in the world,” Ray says. He takes a bite of his pancakes.</p>
<p>She picks up her own fork. “If you say so,” she says primly. “Although I’m definitely the luckiest woman.”</p>
<p>They smile at each other again. They can’t seem to stop doing that, although on second thought there’s no reason to, so Allison just smiles harder.</p>
<p>They sit in comfortable silence at their tucked-away table for a while, the clink of cutlery on plates the only sound.</p>
<p>After a while, Ray looks at her. “You know,” he says. “I’d like to hear more about your other siblings. I know their names and powers, but….”</p>
<p>But the past month has been a whirlwind of wedding planning and Allison still adjusting to the reality where Ray knows about the future, much less talks about it. Klaus has given him some information, she knows, but after he earnestly convinced Ray that Diego’s power was inherently linked to wearing bondage gear, Ray has a healthy suspicion of such a source.</p>
<p>“Right,” Allison says. “Of course. Is there anyone you were thinking of in particular?”</p>
<p>Ray tilts his head a little. “Well, all of them, really. But to start with, I guess - Luther? Klaus said you were closest with him, unless he was lying about that.”</p>
<p>Allison opens her mouth, and looks down at her food. “No. He wasn’t. We were….close.”</p>
<p>“Not anymore, though?” Ray says after a moment.</p>
<p>Allison has absolutely never intended to tell Ray about her less-than-sisterly feelings for Luther, and that resolution has not wavered one bit. They’re completely gone now, anyways, burned away like dew in the summer sun. They could never stand up to the trials of both their dysfunctions, or the feelings that Ray inspires in her, the connection built on trust and respect instead of desperation and loneliness.</p>
<p>She can, however, fondly remember the times when it felt like Luther was her best friend in the whole world, when the two of them played together as young children and always agreed and worked to become stronger together. The memories may be paltry, pathetic even, in hindsight, overshadowed by the ever-present pall that Reginald Goddamn Hargreeves always brought to everything, but they’re still precious. Still worth keeping.</p>
<p>“He was my best friend,” she says at last. “I loved him. I still do.” Differently, now, but in a much healthier way. “We were just….we’d grown too much” or not at all “to keep our old relationship, and neither of us wanted to acknowledge that. And then we had to. And it ended….badly.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Yanking on his arm, wordlessly begging him to open that door, tears in her eyes -</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Ray says, taking her hand.</p>
<p>“Me too,” Allison says, but she’s not entirely sure she is. She wishes it hadn’t been so painful, for them and especially for Vanya. That will always, always be among her greatest regrets. But god, they needed to let go of those feelings. They needed to move on.</p>
<p>She spends the rest of the breakfast talking intermittently about her siblings. Not as deeply as that, although she doesn’t avoid bringing up Luther again. She tells Ray rough outlines of her siblings’ personalities, what they’re like, how she thinks they’ll react to him. How they’ll react to the sixties in general. It’s almost entertaining to imagine, sometimes.</p>
<p>They finish up breakfast, and head off.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Allison realizes as she looks around. She pauses on the way to their car.</p>
<p>“Hm?” Ray says, pausing likewise.</p>
<p>“We’re near the alley,” Allison says. “It’s just a few blocks away.”</p>
<p>“The one where you dropped down,” Ray says. “And where everyone else is going to, as well?”</p>
<p>“That’s the one,” Allison says, staring off in the direction of the alley.</p>
<p>She hasn’t visited it in - god, well over a month now. Ben goes to it roughly every night, of course. They’re still waiting, and their message is still there. But Klaus can’t go hiking all over town anymore on his bad leg, and Allison can’t go walking around <em>alone.</em> She remembers what her first night was like, before she crashed into Klaus. No one is eager for that to happen again. So if she goes at all she has to go in the day, and there are a dozen other things the days demand of her, and Ben has it completely covered anyways….</p>
<p>“Let’s go see it,” Ray says, because apparently she married a mind-reader.</p>
<p>She smiles, and takes his outstretched hand, and they stroll down the sidewalk, basking in the late summer sun. It’s almost September, and part of Allison marvels at the fact that she’s been in the sixties for over a <em>year</em> now. The other part feels like it’s been so much longer.</p>
<p>There are a few damp patches around from yesterday’s showers, but the rain served to brighten up the city a bit, from what Allison can tell. She breathes in the fresh air (even if it is a little humid out), and focuses on the simple joy of walking beside her husband.</p>
<p>It’s not perfect, of course. There are white people who glance at them with expressions ranging from dismissal to outright disdain. A cop wandering on the other side of the street makes Ray stiffen and move between the man and her. There’s a homeless person dotted around here and there, and having a new understanding of just what their plight is like makes her heart squeeze.</p>
<p>But Allison has always been good at finding the silver lining in things. If she didn’t, she probably would have gone insane before now. So she focuses on the fact that it’s a lovely day, she has a new husband, and her family is all currently safe (some sort of quantum limbo still counts as safe, as far as she’s concerned).</p>
<p>It could be worse.</p>
<p>They reach the alley where Klaus and Ben, and then Allison, were thrown into by Five’s abysmal steering skills (she knows Klaus mutters about punching him for that, and even if she’s a bit more sympathetic towards the enormous pressure Five was under she finds she might not actually stop Klaus from doing it). She and Ray step past a sleeping homeless man and enter the mouth of the alley.</p>
<p>Ray looks around. “Well,” he says. “I’d apologize for this being your first look at 1961, but it’s actually not that bad compared to the street outside.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Allison smiles. “It was disorienting, but - oh, damn it, the message is gone again.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Ray says, frowning at the wall over the dumpster where there’s <em>another</em> splotch of paint. “That, uh, whoever it is that Klaus talks about?”</p>
<p>“Apparently, some civil servant is <em>really</em> dedicated to covering up graffiti,” Allison sighs. She checks the mouth of the alley. “Keep watch for me? I need to rewrite it.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Ray says. She has the best husband(!).</p>
<p>Allison quickly finds the spray can they stashed away near the back of the alley. She shakes it up, and at the all-clear from Ray, rewrites the message. She steps back and looks at it with a critical eye.</p>
<p>
  <em>1 2 <strike>3 4</strike> 5 <strike>6</strike> 7 HERE<br/>WAIT HERE</em>
</p>
<p>Don’t mess with the classics.</p>
<p>Allison hides the can away again, for the next time they’ll surely need it. She goes and links her arm through Ray’s, and surveys the alley with a small sigh.</p>
<p>Her heart hurts all of a sudden, for some reason.</p>
<p>Ray lifts up her hand and kisses it. “Come on,” he says gently. “Let’s go home.”</p>
<p>She swallows. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>They walk out of the alley, and Allison notices the homeless man from before. She pauses for a moment, bringing Ray to halt as well.</p>
<p>“Allison?” he says.</p>
<p>She gives him a quick smile, and disengages her arm from him to fish through her pockets. She pulls out a couple bills and goes over to the homeless man. He’s either asleep or resting, so she carefully slips the bills under the sleeve of his coat.</p>
<p>Not quite carefully enough, though, because he snorts a little, and blinks, bleary-eyed, at her. She’s seen Klaus inebriated enough times to know the look - that, and the whiff of strong alcohol that swipes at her nose.</p>
<p>“Al?” the man squints at her.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Allison says, lowering her voice a little. She smiles at him, slightly, before she stands and retreats back to Ray.</p>
<p>“Alll,” the man drawls behind her. “Allyyyy….”</p>
<p>“Come on,” Allison says to Ray. They walk off down the sidewalk, and Allison keeps her eyes ahead. Klaus never did like to be pitied, and she won’t make the same mistakes with other people.</p>
<p>They walk away as the man is saying “Allllisssssshhhh-”</p>
<p>“That was nice of you,” Ray says.</p>
<p>“That could have been Klaus,” she says quietly. They’re out of earshot now, but she still doesn’t look back. “It was him, once upon a time.”</p>
<p>Ray glances at her. He seems to sense that there’s nothing he can really say to that, because he just squeezes her arm.</p>
<p>“Come on,” Allison says after a moment. “Let’s go home. I want to see all my brothers that I possibly can right now.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, we all saw that one coming. &gt;;)</p>
<p>But! I hope you liked the wedding! Sorry I couldn't finangle Klaus into a dress, but rest assured his suit was equally as fabulous as his 'best outfit' from season 1.</p>
<p>And as I mentioned at the start of this fic, I will be taking a hiatus from the TUA. This month only sort of counted, considering I had to wrangle this story. So I expect it'll be at least another few months minimum before I'm ready to come back - but I do fully expect to come back eventually, don't worry! Thank you all so much for your love and support, and i hope you all have a lovely day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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